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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 21:40:23 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 78411
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I feel so Ashamed...
[time] => 2005-01-04 10:49:37
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Shame & Guilt bleed into each other like watercolors... Blending into such an ugly shade... No; I don't feel pretty today. I am an unholy stain, I am dirt. I am left saddened & defeated in the wake of my mistakes... ...Hollow & afraid... & all through fault of animal instinct. But now I remain as a wounded, shivering creature... Cowering in the uneasy dark... The foolish kind that ventured out even when the hunt's horn had sounded it's warning. I took the risk...I take the fall.... All those alarm bells ringing in my head...I ignored them. I feel so very intensely sick in the pits of my knotted stomach... So sick of me. I can't tell you why I did it... I messed up & I'll admit it. I'm not perfect... Only human... But that's no excuse. Innocent & blissfully ignorant... Corrupt & wholey stupid. A madness conceived by loneliness... Destroying myself with a lunacy of lust. ...Redemption doesn't come with this self abuse. I made my bed...So now I must R.I.P in it. I need to purge my soul... Free my conscience from a heavy weight of consequence. I want to be who I used to be. ...Why O why did I let things escalate.. I should have stopped things, Now it's too late. I knew full well that I was playing with fire... I guess there must be a pyromaniac in here somewhere. I'm feeling such a sense of self loathing & worthlessness... But I deserve all of this. I broke the rules that I had made & let my morals rust & decay. I'm sick...I'm selfish...I'm foolish.. ...& utterly alone.... I'm disease; Yet again I've infected others... But i never planned this...It just happened. Forgive me please...Let all of these feelings be punishment enough. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. (c) Dominick Destruction 24/12/04 [comments] => 0 [counter] => 222 [topic] => 50 [informant] => Dominick-destruction [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ApologyPoetry )
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