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Array
(
[sid] => 77857
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Smile
[time] => 2004-12-31 01:45:53
[hometext] => a long one, but moving, as i have heard
[bodytext] => Sadness has overcome me as I stand in the pouring rain. These thoughts are mixed with voices plus my powerful pain. I want to end it all, I cant take this shame. How about now, I have nothing left to gain? My light blonde hair hangs before my eyes to cover the dark, dark brown because this darkness gives to be shown. I lean my head up and look at the cloudy sky, night is always day it seems as my heart says and it creeps. My happiness leaks from my cuts as well from my tears. Hope was reachable, now feared. I feel so alone in my quiet little world of Technicolor; black and white. Thats why Im the only one here; Im afraid of the light. Im soaked now I wish I could be warm, but thats not an option in this cold wet storm. Dicing my hands and arms isnt an option either its time to take it to the next level. I Search and I find the spot. I know this will leave a mark forever. I hold my knife tightly in my hand and I slowly slit my wrist. Now tears and blood are off my long list. I feel it's painful sting as I drop the knife. This will be the last event in my life. Blood drains from my cuts and I feel lightheaded. I know this is almost over, my destination has landed. I Fall to the wet floor as I watch night turn to day And Technicolor turns into colors as I quietly lay. The bright light blinds my dark eyes, Which now turns into baby blue. The rain I can feel on my skin now feels like glue. I absorb the wet rain as my pale skin turns into radiant pink and small freckles emerge on my face i feel i have finally closed the link I look at the blue cloudless sky and the green soft grass. Am i finally free at last? My frown turns into a smile as I slowly stand, and I wonder why am I so glad? I realize I let pain and suffering Hind me from my goal and now I'm finally a living soul. The knife fades, my cuts heal and I cant believe This is real. I feel free and happy now in this wonderful place, and for the first time I have a smile on my face. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 173 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Riot_Girl [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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