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Array ( [sid] => 77796 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Cross My Heart and Hope to Die [time] => 2004-12-30 17:42:18 [hometext] => I'm not sure if it says quite what I want to, but I want to get feedback on it before I change anything. Comments/suggestions would be appreciated. [bodytext] => Cross my heart and hope to die.
Children promise
like roses innocent of thorns;
intended to keep
even if mountains need moving,
oceans draining,
or butterfly's kissing.

Hope to die.
Tainted promises,
crushed, broken, empty stares
in an overgrowth of thorn and thistle;
crushed beneath mountains,
drowning in oceans,
betrayed by kisses.

Cross my heart.
Frayed promises
broken beneath the weight,
choked out beneath fiery skies;
watching ever heavenward,
gaze locked to the horizon.
tears fall in cries of failure.

My heart and hope.
Binding promises.
Weakened strength
growing through pain and doubt,
mounting the mountain step by step,
draining the ocean drop by drop,
with tender hands, soft lips. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 198 [topic] => 25 [informant] => waos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )

Cross My Heart and Hope to Die

Contributed by waos on Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 05:42:18 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

Cross my heart and hope to die.
Children promise
like roses innocent of thorns;
intended to keep
even if mountains need moving,
oceans draining,
or butterfly's kissing.

Hope to die.
Tainted promises,
crushed, broken, empty stares
in an overgrowth of thorn and thistle;
crushed beneath mountains,
drowning in oceans,
betrayed by kisses.

Cross my heart.
Frayed promises
broken beneath the weight,
choked out beneath fiery skies;
watching ever heavenward,
gaze locked to the horizon.
tears fall in cries of failure.

My heart and hope.
Binding promises.
Weakened strength
growing through pain and doubt,
mounting the mountain step by step,
draining the ocean drop by drop,
with tender hands, soft lips.

Copyright © waos ... [ 2004-12-30 17:42:18]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Cross My Heart and Hope to Die (User Rating: 1 )
by rpnsk on Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 05:49:45 PM AEST
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moving, nice enjambed septuplet, i like the contrast at the end - what was the background behind this?

Re: Cross My Heart and Hope to Die (User Rating: 1 )
by Rhymingron on Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 05:49:51 PM AEST
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I like this one. You must read it slowly and let it sink in. I could offer nothing that would it better.

Re: Cross My Heart and Hope to Die (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Thursday, 30th December 2004 @ 10:52:22 PM AEST
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i think the first stanza is the only one that needs work, because it seems a little awkward. excellent write. =]

Re: Cross My Heart and Hope to Die (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 01:35:43 AM AEST
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Awesome Kara! I loved how this was written
and set up. It was all so beautiful yet sad... I
think the last line in the second to last stanza
was my favourite for some reason it just really
stood out.
"tears fall in cries of failure."

Bobo (Joel)

Re: Cross My Heart and Hope to Die (User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on Sunday, 2nd January 2005 @ 03:35:12 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

in it I see that you find fallacy in promises rashly made in youth-- of course I could be written. As always Kara, very vivid and artistic.

Em

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