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Array ( [sid] => 77351 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => From Top to Bottom [time] => 2004-12-27 01:47:03 [hometext] => Critics - Please be totally honest on this one, I want to give this to her and just want to know if it's good enough. [bodytext] => Like a Weeping Willow in October
Browns, golds, and the shades of Autumn

Like two uncut Emeralds
They shine in the spirit of Sirius and Vega

LIke Eros guided the sculpture of Aphrodite
For it is her that stands at the Musee de Louvre

Like Sicilian figures on antique art
In her blood flows theirs

Like the skin borrowed from springtime blossoms
Softer than a slik pillow

Like the taste of sweet Syrah
I am intoxicated by her cocktail kiss

She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her

She is not flawless
But perfection
Becomes
Tara [comments] => 5 [counter] => 212 [topic] => 2 [informant] => saint858 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

From Top to Bottom

Contributed by saint858 on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:47:03 AM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

Like a Weeping Willow in October
Browns, golds, and the shades of Autumn

Like two uncut Emeralds
They shine in the spirit of Sirius and Vega

LIke Eros guided the sculpture of Aphrodite
For it is her that stands at the Musee de Louvre

Like Sicilian figures on antique art
In her blood flows theirs

Like the skin borrowed from springtime blossoms
Softer than a slik pillow

Like the taste of sweet Syrah
I am intoxicated by her cocktail kiss

She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her

She is not flawless
But perfection
Becomes
Tara

Copyright © saint858 ... [ 2004-12-27 01:47:03]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: From Top to Bottom (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:52:50 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Aww! Awesome write. I'm sure she'd love it if you gave it to her! I wish someone wrote something so beautiful for me! lol Great write.

Re: From Top to Bottom (User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:03:52 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

If I was to be honest, I'd say "OH MY GOD THIS WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!!!" so I might as well go with honest...OH MY GOD THIS WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!!!...the only thing I might change is from saying

She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her

say

She is beautiful
For beauty
Is her

Not necessarily that, but speaking from past experiences, she might have a shallow moment and think you were calling her ugly or something...just a thought...I thought the poem over all was great...5 *'l all that!!! Great job

Mason

Re: From Top to Bottom (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:35:10 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow great word usage, i like the way you used them to make such a beautiful poem. I think she's so lucky to have you write something this beautiful about her. I will agree on Mason's thought on the :

She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her

To

She is beautiful
For beauty
Is her

Id go with that. Anyways great poem..

Hugs,
Jane x

Re: From Top to Bottom (User Rating: 1 )
by Stonedraider23 on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:56:41 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

great write i agree with what they all say but yea u betta give it to her b4 sum one else wins her heart or somethin but yea i like the she is not beautiful part i'd change it t like shes more then or sumthin i dunno good write tho

Re: From Top to Bottom (User Rating: 1 )
by Dan666 on Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 10:02:39 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i agree with the beautiful bit to change great write she'll love it!

Dan666

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