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Array
(
[sid] => 75621
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => My Christmas Tree is Homosexual
[time] => 2004-12-13 16:47:37
[hometext] => (a protest against a politically correct Christmas) I know this is long, but it gets more readable as it gets more sarcastic and amusing, in my opinion at least. Please persevere and tell me what you think.
[bodytext] => My Christmas tree is Homosexual Second edition I Congratulations, society Once again you’ve forced me to play Devil’s Advocate. You know I’m not the biggest fan of Christmas I just don’t get why we need a Season of Goodwill, An excuse to be ‘nice’. Do we really need two weeks off from work And the compulsion to spend a lot of money Before we can be nice for a month or so? Even so, I’d rather have a month of people being decent Than no time at all. Plus, we all need a break sometime And a reason to have a good time Forget about the diet, the job, school Isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Apparently not; Christmas is about us enforcing our beliefs on others Politicians said so on TV so it must be true. All the Jews, Muslims, Pagans, politicians That don’t approve of Christmas: We’re just intentionally ***** them off, aren’t we. II I know less Christians than I have fingers But I know very few people who don’t celebrate Christmas. I’ve know Muslims and Jehovah’s Witnesses To give Christmas cards: Those Nativity-wielding insults to political correctness (Since when were politics ever correct?) To sinning, Christmas-celebrating friends And even give gifts. None of my non-Christian friends (Nearly all my friends are non-Christian Including my own family) Have a problem with Christmas Not even the Muslims and Jews I know And it’s not them you see mouthing off on the telly Your beliefs offend me; I can’t believe that you believe It’s not more insulting to speak for those Who are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves Than to force them into enduring the infinite torture Of looking at evidence of a festival They don’t necessarily celebrate. III Of course, if we’re going to ban Christmas We may as well ban other stuff too; do the thing properly. After all, we’re all about being proper now. What about: Diwali, Hanukah, Easter, Halloween (Oh, I forgot, you already started on that one Halloween celebrators are Satanists now). I personally find candle arches very offensive, And don’t get me started on henna hand-art! As for Easter, well! Chocolate eggs are pointless consumer products And so, so bad for our children’s health. I’m surprised you’re not using that excuse instead; Consumerism seems like a much better excuse than Complaints made by politicians on behalf of the Jewish, Hindu and Moslem parts of our society. Oh, men of power, standing proud Enthroned in your seats of the power we bestowed Tell me now, oh tell me true How doth it be that we offend you? When was it that you became Such anti-religious men? Or can it be you’re all Jewish today? Just so you could throw Christmas away? Glory to God, oh your God and mine Or if you have no God, glory to… well, whatever you have. IV Me, I’m happy to have a politically correct Christmas I’ll even join in the anti-Christian spirit My Christmas tree is homosexual And if I have hot cross buns at Easter I’ll somehow hide the crosses. I wont give gold jewellery, incense sticks or cannabis In case anyone picks up on any relevance But please, I beg you, give us this chance This annual excuse for some song, some dance Laughter, and Lights (So I don’t offend the aliens) Let us keep a little culture Just to stop us devolving Back to Homo sapiens. (© Meghan McAvoy, December 2005) [comments] => 5 [counter] => 374 [topic] => 56 [informant] => ladyaryssa [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => sarcasticpoetry )
|
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