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Array
(
[sid] => 75529
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => 4:8 Is Forever
[time] => 2004-12-13 00:46:36
[hometext] => What I Wish All Could Experience.
[bodytext] => Now I know you and for once in my life I know me. I smile with generosity because it’s true, I’m happy now. A man never loved me before that night. As unexpected as that may have been, you were there and answered the call to love. No words could even begin to describe that look of generosity as you held me in your arms and explained your hidden secret. “God Adam, I love you so much.” The tenderness of your kiss and the innocence felt under those Yuma stars would leave me complete for a life time. Without cliché, I could have died that night and have lived a life of perfection. The strength it took to reveal your deepest fears leveled me for an eternity. That look upon your face could have maddened poets for a lifetime; such truth coveted by pure naked sincerity could never be described by language itself. It’s times like that, that have to be experienced to believe. As for me, romance and love have taken on a completely different meaning. No longer are they limited to those moments seen in a Hollywood type splendor. No longer are they limited to dreams of fantasy. They are real and they do exist and I am happy now. As I left your side and experienced that moment in time like an endless loop of replay, I allowed myself to succumb to a fantasy, Our life frozen in that moment of synergistic perfection. As real as our time was and as genuine as our intentions may have been, we could not avoid the complications of timing. There is no doubt in my mind that Gary loved me. As a matter of fact there is no doubt in the minds of those that experienced our synergistic chemistry as we played amongst the gods of poetry, love and experimentation. I left your side and to this day enjoy the feelings and experiences that are reserved as ours. No one else will know me as you do and I am confident when I add vice versa. No blame is the result of my evolution after 5 years without you in my life. I am happy now. I look into those brown eyes today from pictures of yesterday and feel the goodness of what we were and embrace no anger or disappointment. For that I thank the universe and time. Which is why, I am happy now. I can reflect on those times without tears of sadness streaming down my face. I can say I loved Gary without the feeling of disconnect. The disconnect was only perceived because of the sorrow that overwhelmed my senses. Time and evolution has lifted that sorrow and replaced it with the truth, there was never a disconnect. We will always have Yuma and the future is as uncertain as the moments we shared years ago. The message I wish to convey as a new year is upon us is simple. If you have loved and lost, congratulations! You have experienced what most will only dream of. Love is risk intertwined in vulnerability and is unimaginably volatile. Poets have spent decades writing about it and many a man have trembled on there knees experiencing it. Live, love and move forward. Do not commiserate with the shallow feelings of disappointment and anger that quite readily become available after falling from love that has been lost. Instead face those memories with the truth, embrace those moments that ignited your soul and caused the child inside to become gleeful and innocent. For the truth is this, your life will continue and love will happen no matter how unlikely it may seem. Love will be just as life is. So stop thinking about it and just let it happen. Take care and feed your soul with love and affection, your worth that and so much more. Adam Belveal [comments] => 2 [counter] => 309 [topic] => 2 [informant] => abelveal [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )
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