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Array ( [sid] => 75272 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => untitled (please read!) [time] => 2004-12-11 01:13:08 [hometext] => my first poem... [bodytext] => candy coated, chocolate dipped,
she looks alright,
but you've been gypped.

dark and gloomy, cracked and frail,
she wears her mask,
always without fail.

the outside seems like glitter
and smiles,
but the inside is just crumbled
in piles.

pile of heartache, lonliness, and
sadness,
in her head, there;s nothing but
madness.

love is blind, she found out the
hard way,
when he ***** someone else
last May.

shattered trust,
complete disgust,
his love for her
was only lust.

sitting in her room at night,
she wishes she could just take flight.

so she drowns her pain in pills
and beer,
hoping that the end is near. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 177 [topic] => 65 [informant] => katiemae06 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )

untitled (please read!)

Contributed by katiemae06 on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 01:13:08 AM in AEST
Topic: toughstuff

candy coated, chocolate dipped,
she looks alright,
but you've been gypped.

dark and gloomy, cracked and frail,
she wears her mask,
always without fail.

the outside seems like glitter
and smiles,
but the inside is just crumbled
in piles.

pile of heartache, lonliness, and
sadness,
in her head, there;s nothing but
madness.

love is blind, she found out the
hard way,
when he ***** someone else
last May.

shattered trust,
complete disgust,
his love for her
was only lust.

sitting in her room at night,
she wishes she could just take flight.

so she drowns her pain in pills
and beer,
hoping that the end is near.

Copyright © katiemae06 ... [ 2004-12-11 01:13:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: untitled (please read!) (User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 02:06:04 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

wow, this is pretty good for a first poem!!! well done!!! and if its your first time, welcome to YPDC!

Re: untitled (please read!) (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 02:07:23 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very sad but great writing.
Hope she feels better really soon.
luv, huggs, strength,
emy

Re: untitled (please read!) (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 06:02:11 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow that was brilliantly done, very nice for a first poem.

P.S. Welcome to YPDC hope to see more of your works soon.

Hugs,
Jane x

Re: untitled (please read!) (User Rating: 1 )
by Infinite_Sadness on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 07:46:21 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

'guns will make us powerfull, butter will only make us fat' said a revolutionist once - the same can be said of beer and pills- they will only make you 'fat' so to speak. but 'guns' will make you powerfull. your 'guns' could be something more constructive - like reading, painting, writing(which your already doing) etc. ..........I think I've made my point. I do not regret reading this poem of yours..

Re: untitled (please read!) (User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 10:05:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Your first but hopefully not your last........entertaining write, well done

Steve

Re: untitled (please read!) (User Rating: 1 )
by SpeedXDemon on Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 12:03:36 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Good job, I too feel like that sometimes. It totally bites. But you could try to find another way to deal with your problems. Poetry is a really good one.
Hang in there~

~SpeedXDemon

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