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Array
(
[sid] => 75199
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A relationship poem
[time] => 2004-12-10 14:19:45
[hometext] => This is about my very unhealthy mindstate that I get into every now and then....It's a spiral downwards, so don't be surprised if you come back to the same spot twice....Not one of my favorites, but it is honest and filthy.
[bodytext] => She'll leave you soon enough. A love out of obligation can only last so long. She will smile when the next fool, warms her with his gaze, and she will feel guily for being drawn in. Intimate misgivings. I'd prefer to let go and not expect anything to last, especially this love, inefficiently expressing a story that has already ended. I am waiting for the inevitable. I am suffering from jet lag, and the hours are catching up. I can't wait until I fall asleep. I can't wait until I no longer have to live one more minute sustained by a pang in my chest. Sustained by a heart's stained sob. This is so outdated. A relinquished fear, kept alive by this wise man's blessing. **** you. You think you are worthy to sleep soundly. You have much to learn, young apprentice. You have much to learn about how to present yourself in a way that would make her want you. Could you have said that more awkwardly? Wait. I have judged the last year of my life by spitting in my face. Does it make you feel better when you have to wipe the flem from your eyes? NO. Honestly I have slipped, and slipped, and slipped, and feel that I can never catch my next step. It has been a difficult fall. And once more, she cannot help. She will give me a kiss out of obligation, and she will hold my hand, silently waiting for someone else. I don't know if I will ever believe that she truly wants me. How can I? She is so "busy" that I question the depth of her caress. Does she care? She pities me, the fool who naively thought that he would be well recieved. A pipe dream. Forget these tattered promises lying in gutters with rats chewing through cum stained rustic leaves, with glue binding the frowned strand of light, warm enough so that only a cock roach could servive this temperature. Forget these dreams you've held so close, a girl, actually satisfied by your touch. hahahahaha A dream! A dream! A dream! Shattered. It makes it easy to cover longer distances, greater square inches of your seep sewage. Ha! Enjoy your last exit. Your last grasp on the faithful. Enjoy your last cry in the dark, alone, feeding spirits passed, leaving wounds open, fresh and throbbing [comments] => 4 [counter] => 264 [topic] => 2 [informant] => zenmind [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 2 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )
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