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life support
Contributed by
co_cane13
on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 01:07:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
dieing slowly, still awake
yelling kill me know, for heavens sake
hooked on machines bearly conscious
God this world makes me nacious
time to die has been delayed
my memories start to fade
i close my eyes and start to pray
God don't make me stay
end this now i want to leave
take me now, i've done my deeds
i've paid my dues and served my time
take me now, i've done no crime
so here i am once again
thinking will he take me, and when
i ly here consious of my thoughts
drowning in self-pity
Copyright ©
co_cane13
... [
2004-12-05 13:07:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: life support
(User Rating: 1 )
by In2thetwilightzone on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 02:38:56 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| great piece, a bit suspended and unsatisfied with the ending, it got to such a climax! it sounded like you rushed to finish it!!! please have a more powerful ending next time! as for the rest, jolly jolly jolly, good stuff! |
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Re: life support
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 10:48:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree with the other poster, it was a really good write and kind of let me down at the end. Good job though, keep sharing! |
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