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(
[sid] => 74455
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Banished Thoughts
[time] => 2004-12-05 00:30:43
[hometext] => I know there are those out there who will understand this ... question is ... How many ?
[bodytext] => ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He came to life
Lying on a cold hard stone slab
Gaining awareness
He took stock of his surroundings
Three stone walls
Rough cut, tight seamed and soot covered
Side walls longer
Than the back wall, from which the bed grew
At the opposite end
Heavy iron bars that would surely deny escape
Yet they allowed
A weak and feeble flicker of light to eek into the cell
The ceiling, unseen
Concealed by creosote, residue or due to height
It mattered not
It would still be unreachable and just as unyielding
Dank musty air
Permeated everything and clung like a heavy fog
A distinct taste of
Decay and neglect invaded him with every breath
He rose stiffly
Three uneasy strides took him to the bars
Grasping them for support
He peered into the dimly lit corridor
Wall sconces held torches
Spaced evenly either direction as far as he could see
Looking out across the hall
Cells that surely mirrored his, lined the opposite wall
He could not tell
How many, for they continued beyond his perception
None were empty
All the occupants appeared to be long time residents
He called out
To the man being detained across the corridor
“ Hey old-timer
What did you do? How long you in for?"
Long gray hair
Cascaded in thick waves down past his shoulder
The beard he wore
Peppered gray and black, was nearly as long
“Mine is a sentence
Of life, with absolutely no possibility of parole
What did I do?
I fell in love, and she could not love me in return”
The old man
Stepped to the front of his cell, “And you young man?
What have you done?
Know you where you are or what be your fate?”
Before he could answer
Hoarse and raspy, full of near panicked urgency
Another voice called “Be silent fools
Lest your obnoxious banter wake the warden !”
As a precursor
A wave of sub-consciousness flowed through
Torches were extinguished
Bolts could be heard securing distant doors
Darkness decended
Once again secure, the prison fell to silence
Consciousness took hold
The warden was indeed awakening
I opened my eyes
Yawned and stretched and crawled from bed
Armed with a cup of coffee
Completely oblivious, I prepare to face a new day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's note :
~ A question ~
Ever care for someone you shouldn't ? Ever fantasized about something or someone and thought ...
I can't think that ? Ever done something you wish you hadn't and would just as soon forget ?
And simply banished the thought ?
The dungeon, my cess pool of ... regrets maybe, mistakes to be certain, impossible dreams that could never come true.
Pieces of me that exist below the surface ... at times so far below I forget they are there ... then a song, a scent, a place, something ~ triggers a memory, and it is like I am riding a water slide down into the darkness, down to meet my demons.
And I the Warden ... who wakes daily to the closed doors that subconciousness dreams open. Awakening most days, sheltered from my demons. Oblivious ? Thankfully yes, for to face the demons, daily, individually or all at once ... would leave me huddled in a corner afraid of my own shadow.
Banished Thoughts, out goes another light.
( I felt the need to explain )
[comments] => 12
[counter] => 247
[topic] => 25
[informant] => Nazmythian
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 20
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => MiscPoems
)
Banished Thoughts
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 12:30:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He came to life
Lying on a cold hard stone slab
Gaining awareness
He took stock of his surroundings
Three stone walls
Rough cut, tight seamed and soot covered
Side walls longer
Than the back wall, from which the bed grew
At the opposite end
Heavy iron bars that would surely deny escape
Yet they allowed
A weak and feeble flicker of light to eek into the cell
The ceiling, unseen
Concealed by creosote, residue or due to height
It mattered not
It would still be unreachable and just as unyielding
Dank musty air
Permeated everything and clung like a heavy fog
A distinct taste of
Decay and neglect invaded him with every breath
He rose stiffly
Three uneasy strides took him to the bars
Grasping them for support
He peered into the dimly lit corridor
Wall sconces held torches
Spaced evenly either direction as far as he could see
Looking out across the hall
Cells that surely mirrored his, lined the opposite wall
He could not tell
How many, for they continued beyond his perception
None were empty
All the occupants appeared to be long time residents
He called out
To the man being detained across the corridor
“ Hey old-timer
What did you do? How long you in for?"
Long gray hair
Cascaded in thick waves down past his shoulder
The beard he wore
Peppered gray and black, was nearly as long
“Mine is a sentence
Of life, with absolutely no possibility of parole
What did I do?
I fell in love, and she could not love me in return”
The old man
Stepped to the front of his cell, “And you young man?
What have you done?
Know you where you are or what be your fate?”
Before he could answer
Hoarse and raspy, full of near panicked urgency
Another voice called “Be silent fools
Lest your obnoxious banter wake the warden !”
As a precursor
A wave of sub-consciousness flowed through
Torches were extinguished
Bolts could be heard securing distant doors
Darkness decended
Once again secure, the prison fell to silence
Consciousness took hold
The warden was indeed awakening
I opened my eyes
Yawned and stretched and crawled from bed
Armed with a cup of coffee
Completely oblivious, I prepare to face a new day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's note :
~ A question ~
Ever care for someone you shouldn't ? Ever fantasized about something or someone and thought ...
I can't think that ? Ever done something you wish you hadn't and would just as soon forget ?
And simply banished the thought ?
The dungeon, my cess pool of ... regrets maybe, mistakes to be certain, impossible dreams that could never come true.
Pieces of me that exist below the surface ... at times so far below I forget they are there ... then a song, a scent, a place, something ~ triggers a memory, and it is like I am riding a water slide down into the darkness, down to meet my demons.
And I the Warden ... who wakes daily to the closed doors that subconciousness dreams open. Awakening most days, sheltered from my demons. Oblivious ? Thankfully yes, for to face the demons, daily, individually or all at once ... would leave me huddled in a corner afraid of my own shadow.
Banished Thoughts, out goes another light.
( I felt the need to explain )
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2004-12-05 00:30:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 12:46:14 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| and me? I sit here in a filmy negligee writing stupid limericks which I hope you laugh at.. but this is brilliant and I wonder where You get it all... you have a wonderful muse..I have no muse..do you find that..amus...ing????? |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 01:15:13 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I've visited prisons before.
Awesome writing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 01:34:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A captivating read naz kept me enthralled from start to finish.
Johnny. |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 07:34:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow Naz that was just amazing, you are so talented, cant wait to do a co-write with you lol
luv pix xx |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 08:58:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Interesting...nicely done...though I must ask...is this literal..are you a warden...or is this an anology and you like most of us are the wardens to the prisons of our souls...where sleeps the imprisoned remnants of our lost dreams...old hurts and new-formed self conscience??? |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 10:10:40 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I think I understand it...
Phil
(Suckiest comment of all time. lol) |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 08:52:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Naz,
I'm not sure if I understand it or not. It could be a straight forward prison story. It could represent a metaphor on some aspect of your life where you feel imprisoned. Or it could be an awakening from a dream or nightmare. What ever, the style and potency of your words are impressive.
Captivating write
Willofree |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 01:07:17 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A dream? A fascinating dream.
Stitch |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 02:25:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I'm there. I can't see you, Nazzy - but I know I heard your voice. Listen, we need to talk... I've got a broken spoon... I've been... digging.
A tunnel runs behind the back wall of the cells on my side... you should be able to link into it if you're on the same side --- are you? --
See... someone told me that the iron bars CAN be penetrated... but I've stopped trying - I watched as the old man attempted day after day for years, to no avail. I thought for a long while that we'd all wind up like him, that I would be him. - but - I just can't stand the smell in here anymore, I need... fresh air. I'm finding my own way out (I think others might be trying too - I've heard whispers, scraping...). I guess we each much decide for ourselves...
Let me know if you want to borrow the spoon.
(Well now.... "oblivious", you say? How then did you manage to develop this so incredibly well? Hmmmm?)
~SNM~
(who rambles profusely when she really likes something)
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 02:50:10 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Be it dream, metaphor, life, nightmare... Your words still enchant, and make the reader think. A breathtaking ride! A disturbing, yet beautiful stroll through the mind of the master poet! You've done it again, cheri Scott! Never failing to impress and surprise!
The ending just wrapped it all up. Spectacular piece! Perfect, as are all of your endeavors. Thank you so much for sharing. I always enjoy reading your works. Weaver of splendiferous expressions, I tip my hat to you. All my love! Take care. Forever,
Votre fleur de bonheur. *Stephy* |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 03:47:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Keep smokin', Nazzy.
And Fleur de Wang,
stay away from my man...
--Mothy |
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Re: Banished Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th December 2004 @ 08:21:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I am stilled into a state of stifleness Nazzy. (Is stifleness a word? It is now!)
I sit here after reading this twice, mouth agape and
the thought "Oh, my God!" running through my mind.
Your writing reminds me of that song, "killing me softly," for yes,
I know exactly of what you speak. Eerily so.
And I don't mind saying some days I AM huddled in a corner,
afraid of my own shadow.
Wonderfully expressed. Beautifully writtten.
Damn it Scott! Do you ever write rubbish?
I think it the impossible!
Ever I am amazed and astounded with your incredible ability.
How wonderful that you so thoughtfully share it. I eagerly
await your next stroke of brilliance!
~Breezy
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