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Array
(
[sid] => 7442
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => problems
[time] => 2002-11-25 08:30:00
[hometext] => it's my life i guess
[bodytext] => sittin here passin the time
thinking about everything that happened today one major argument this evening it's just like everytime my parents talk, they have to fight they get along for a little while, but then it goes back to the arguments it gets so hard... i wish we would hurry up and move they try to put me in the middle and agree to their side they think i shouldn't have my own opinion, that i should be completely sided with them why can't my life just be less complicated? when i talk to my friends about my problems, they listen for a few minutes and then change the subject they think that it'd be better not to butt into my personal life when if i talk about it they would realize i'd be a happier person and i wouldn't have it all bottled inside i'm waiting for it to explode and i know it won't be a pretty sight i feel like the only way i can get my thoughts out is to write them down, and just disregard them as garbage and no one should ever read them everyone thinks im the happy kid with no problems they all come to me and make me sort out their issues and i do it, because i don't want to let too many people in my life i've already lost a few people, and i don't want to lose more it seems that any time i get too close to someone, somehow they get taken away from me sometimes its my fault, sometimes its not, sometimes they have to move, or sometimes they just leave. i wish i could have someone to talk to that understands it all someone to tell me it'll all be ok someday even if its not the truth, it would sure be nice to hear but, no one listens, and no one says it'll be ok, so i wrap myself up in my friends, and solve their problems and try not to think about mine my problems are starting to surface, i don't think it will be too long before i finally have a huge explosion i just hope it doesn't ruin another friendship i really don't need that i heard a lyric from a song "i act like ***** don't phase me, inside it drives me crazy, my insecurities could eat me alive" and i think to myself, that was definately written for me even with all my problems, i still seem like a pretty happy camper i guess nothing in life can be easy, or maybe it's just me [comments] => 1 [counter] => 150 [topic] => 32 [informant] => kittiebiznitch [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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