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Array ( [sid] => 74398 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Killing myself for you... [time] => 2004-12-04 15:51:52 [hometext] => please comment, take this to your own interpritation... [bodytext] => ive been dreaming,
dreaming of that brighter day,
when he'll deside the one he loves is me,

ive been thinking,
thinking of the moment when i tell him,
tell him i love him,

but maybe that day will never come,
maybe its all a fantasy,
maybe my heart will decieve me,
maybe il be wrong,
maybe someone else will tell him,
and maybe hell laugh in my face,
maybe hell tell me im a freak,
and i need to keep out his space,

my heart would be broken,
the neurofen would be in my glass,
the poison would be spreaded on my bread,
a letter on the side
darkness in my head,
the pain of the rejection,
it would leave me dead...

id climb up the stairway,
id look back in despair,
god would just be calling "you know you have nothing there, you have your looks, your gifts, your art, your writing and above all you have your mind, jasmin, maybe you just need to accept destiny"
but i cant, this is what should be!
then the stairway would brake,
to leave me in a hospital bed,
a drip in my arm,
a pain in my head,

if he were by my side,
maybe things would be different,
maybe he could breathe me in some life,
breathe me in some joy,
soothe in some passion,
he could tell me he would be my boy,
tell me things would be ok,
and that he wont let this happen again,
but in reality thats a sureal day,
theres a huge gap between now and then,

i realise now that i may not live another year,
not if i put my heart on my sleeve,
but i canot help but to yearn for him,
this lust just will not leave...

[comments] => 3 [counter] => 210 [topic] => 61 [informant] => in2thetwilightzone2 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Killing myself for you...

Contributed by in2thetwilightzone2 on Saturday, 4th December 2004 @ 03:51:52 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

ive been dreaming,
dreaming of that brighter day,
when he'll deside the one he loves is me,

ive been thinking,
thinking of the moment when i tell him,
tell him i love him,

but maybe that day will never come,
maybe its all a fantasy,
maybe my heart will decieve me,
maybe il be wrong,
maybe someone else will tell him,
and maybe hell laugh in my face,
maybe hell tell me im a freak,
and i need to keep out his space,

my heart would be broken,
the neurofen would be in my glass,
the poison would be spreaded on my bread,
a letter on the side
darkness in my head,
the pain of the rejection,
it would leave me dead...

id climb up the stairway,
id look back in despair,
god would just be calling "you know you have nothing there, you have your looks, your gifts, your art, your writing and above all you have your mind, jasmin, maybe you just need to accept destiny"
but i cant, this is what should be!
then the stairway would brake,
to leave me in a hospital bed,
a drip in my arm,
a pain in my head,

if he were by my side,
maybe things would be different,
maybe he could breathe me in some life,
breathe me in some joy,
soothe in some passion,
he could tell me he would be my boy,
tell me things would be ok,
and that he wont let this happen again,
but in reality thats a sureal day,
theres a huge gap between now and then,

i realise now that i may not live another year,
not if i put my heart on my sleeve,
but i canot help but to yearn for him,
this lust just will not leave...

Copyright © in2thetwilightzone2 ... [ 2004-12-04 15:51:52]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Killing myself for you... (User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Wingz on Saturday, 4th December 2004 @ 04:44:32 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I'm not sure if you speak for you or if the person in the poem is unreal but I have felt that very same way. I've spent much time wanting the love of someone who cannot be mine. I relate to this poem completely. You have done a wonderful job touching on many feelings.

Great poem.

Hugs,
Krystal-Dawn.

Re: Killing myself for you... (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 07:43:40 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

that was so deep and emotional, written very well, filled with emotions

pixie xx

Re: Killing myself for you... (User Rating: 1 )
by sunshiny on Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 03:15:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I remember writing poetry such as this....15 years ago now....I can still recall the feelings I felt. It seems as if you will die when your heart is broken. Once you get older, your heart is still breaks but you also realize it is not the end of the world. It sure made for some great poetry though....LOL. You are a wonderful writer. Keep up the great work and don't despair. One day things won't be so hard. :)

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