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Array ( [sid] => 74220 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Til It's Gone [time] => 2004-12-03 02:18:11 [hometext] => [bodytext] => She can’t believe the words
Spilling from his mouth.
Telling her it’s over
That this candle has been replaced
By a new flame.
Shortly this ‘new’ flame
Has died, and he turns
To find a desire to relight the old.
But she’s moved it
To a dark corner
Perhaps to be visited later.
He didn’t know
What he had
Til it was gone
He didn’t realize
Exactly how much
He’d miss the way
She laughed
She cried
Talked
Felt
Cried
And he did.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 22 [informant] => LittleMANof04 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Til It's Gone

Contributed by LittleMANof04 on Friday, 3rd December 2004 @ 02:18:11 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

She can’t believe the words
Spilling from his mouth.
Telling her it’s over
That this candle has been replaced
By a new flame.
Shortly this ‘new’ flame
Has died, and he turns
To find a desire to relight the old.
But she’s moved it
To a dark corner
Perhaps to be visited later.
He didn’t know
What he had
Til it was gone
He didn’t realize
Exactly how much
He’d miss the way
She laughed
She cried
Talked
Felt
Cried
And he did.

Copyright Â© LittleMANof04 ... [ 2004-12-03 02:18:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Til It's Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by Angelochek on Friday, 3rd December 2004 @ 02:25:19 AM AEST
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um... what you were trying to say is good and it makes sense exsept i would incourage you to work a little more on the smooth flowing from one sentence to the next. everything else is great.

hope to see more of your poems,
Angelochek

Re: Til It's Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by evilcherry312 on Friday, 3rd December 2004 @ 11:12:46 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

well i think its super awsome. :)

Re: Til It's Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by MMISS on Friday, 3rd December 2004 @ 12:50:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

love the story. great work

Re: Til It's Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 09:01:48 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You've covered the topic of revolving hearts so well. I like the brevity and the straightforwardness of this, but the "dark corner" is my favorite line.
Stitch

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