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Array
(
[sid] => 74214
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => 15 on each arm
[time] => 2004-12-03 00:51:48
[hometext] => the name saids it all
[bodytext] => I feel so lonely and worthless I have nothing to offer anyone But ugliness and hurt That is all I am Who could love me? Even if someone did love me I hate my self so much that I would hate them for it I am useless and want to die I hate everything about me My looks I want to hide So I close my self off from the world And disappear even from my friends Even the ones online I hope they can forgive me If I were to take my life It is not much of a life anyways But I do not know how long I can take Feeling this way inside Needing someone But only finding a blade Calling me I have cut my self again This is just too much to take I am sorry I know happiness is never lasting But why is my depression constant The good and light in my heart is ephemeral And I have had enough Everyone thinks it’s so easy to change If I change, my world would still be ***** I guess that’s what I deserve I have no way to escape this world The blade brings no comfort And skin had grown numb I made fifteen cuts on each arm today And did not feel a thing So I just cut some more And cut and cut and cut and cut Till I passed out from the lose of blood I guess I will be better but For how long And if after will I just be sent back Down the spiral I think I have to go now My blade is calling me again I can’t afford to dream anymore It is killing me [comments] => 4 [counter] => 529 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Doriens_Picture [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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