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Array ( [sid] => 73266 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The journey to starting over [time] => 2004-11-26 20:20:55 [hometext] => Comments, corrections, and suggestions are welcome [bodytext] =>
There is a young lady of 17 on this journey.
She is the oldest of two, and carries a heavy load for one so young.
She is obedient and respectful,
But if you asked her to describe herself in one word that word would be lonely
For the secret her mother tries to hide has broken the trust they once shared.
She has many talents, but the one she sherishes most is her abitity to draw.
Drawing offers her a way to escape everything that goes on
in what has recently become her everyday life.
One day she drew a self-portrait,
she sat and looked at it for hours trying to find something new about herself.
All she found was the same long blonde hair, blue eyes and soft complexion
that have been there longer than she can remember.
Her dreams become new as her hopes change into something more beautiful
and more defined, while she erases and shades them into perfection.
She can't help wanting to draw out in simple curves and lines what her new life will be like.
The only thing holding her back is the fact that she does not know what line to draw first. [comments] => 7 [counter] => 299 [topic] => 32 [informant] => Gothchyk [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

The journey to starting over

Contributed by Gothchyk on Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 08:20:55 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

There is a young lady of 17 on this journey.
She is the oldest of two, and carries a heavy load for one so young.
She is obedient and respectful,
But if you asked her to describe herself in one word that word would be lonely
For the secret her mother tries to hide has broken the trust they once shared.
She has many talents, but the one she sherishes most is her abitity to draw.
Drawing offers her a way to escape everything that goes on
in what has recently become her everyday life.
One day she drew a self-portrait,
she sat and looked at it for hours trying to find something new about herself.
All she found was the same long blonde hair, blue eyes and soft complexion
that have been there longer than she can remember.
Her dreams become new as her hopes change into something more beautiful
and more defined, while she erases and shades them into perfection.
She can't help wanting to draw out in simple curves and lines what her new life will be like.
The only thing holding her back is the fact that she does not know what line to draw first.

Copyright © Gothchyk ... [ 2004-11-26 20:20:55]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 09:26:34 PM AEST
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An awesome write.
luv, hggs, smiles,
emy

Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 10:08:40 PM AEST
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You have a couple typos in the 6th line. Otherwise, this is pretty good. I think it fits the category of "Poetry That Tells A Story" better, even though this is sad. I liked this line: "while she erases and shades them into perfection."

Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by Katie2008 on Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 10:43:33 PM AEST
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I really like this. It seems like you get some sort of escape with writing, too. Great poem.
Katie

Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 11:19:27 PM AEST
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this feels a bit autobiographical
i can see you in the words

Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by Addelyn on Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 07:27:53 PM AEST
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I love the last line! its great a poem with only a few typos:) Eloquently written!

Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 08:10:01 PM AEST
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hey goth,

maybe you should let the first line draw itself,
then all you have to do is follow its lead.

Re: The journey to starting over (User Rating: 1 )
by remote on Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 02:16:41 AM AEST
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Wow! for the lack of better words.

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