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Array ( [sid] => 72320 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Emptiness [time] => 2004-11-19 18:51:07 [hometext] => Comments appreciated [bodytext] => My life is pointless
Its purpose is gone
I don't feel anything
Now that your gone

I try and find out how I feel
But find nothing at all
I feel so empty
I feel so small

My face carries the same express
Everywhere I go
My body moves at the same speed
Lazy and slow

I look at everything around me
Emptiness
I look at my life
Nothing to assess

My day involves eating
Sleeping, eating
Looking, sleeping
And hope my heart will stop beating

My life revolves
Around a computer screen
Tired eyes, hunched back
High on caffeine

Which brings to me to now
Aching muscles, tired mind
Restricted in a realm of nothing
In emptiness I'm confined

[comments] => 5 [counter] => 174 [topic] => 32 [informant] => Kitty_cat [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Emptiness

Contributed by Kitty_cat on Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 06:51:07 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

My life is pointless
Its purpose is gone
I don't feel anything
Now that your gone

I try and find out how I feel
But find nothing at all
I feel so empty
I feel so small

My face carries the same express
Everywhere I go
My body moves at the same speed
Lazy and slow

I look at everything around me
Emptiness
I look at my life
Nothing to assess

My day involves eating
Sleeping, eating
Looking, sleeping
And hope my heart will stop beating

My life revolves
Around a computer screen
Tired eyes, hunched back
High on caffeine

Which brings to me to now
Aching muscles, tired mind
Restricted in a realm of nothing
In emptiness I'm confined

Copyright © Kitty_cat ... [ 2004-11-19 18:51:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Emptiness (User Rating: 1 )
by SWCSuzyQ on Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 07:16:53 PM AEST
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the message of emptiness in definately seen. good work. I hope you actually are not feeling this and if you areremember-You are the most precious thing on earth.

Re: Emptiness (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 07:37:47 PM AEST
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ovrall it's a good write and I could feel the empty feeling. The only thing I would recommend for improvment is that in the 1st stanza, you rhyme gone with gone..and I guess you can do that..but what's the purpose or challenge in using the same word as a rhyme?.. good overall though.

Re: Emptiness (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 09:25:25 PM AEST
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been there, still here.... fantastic write.

Re: Emptiness (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 02:27:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A very good write, thnks for posting.

Hugs,
Jane

Re: Emptiness (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Saturday, 20th November 2004 @ 08:32:19 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

powerfully written, very sad and moving,
pixie xx

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