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Array
(
[sid] => 72107
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Eternal Self Loathe
[time] => 2004-11-18 14:12:26
[hometext] => this was one of the first poems about depression i ever wrote
[bodytext] => Visions of what had been and what had not yet come to pass spiralled past my eyes as I descended further and further into the sombre beyond. I was all of a sudden alone, trapped behind the prison bars of my mind, My very essence had been isolated from the world I had once joined in the quest for happiness, as the white walls of my brain began to close in on me. Extinguishing me to within an inch of me horrid life. I was swirling around in a pool of my own rejection. No amount of crying could change my terrible past or could dampen the party of abandonment that filled the very cells of my own thoughts. I had been arrested by the devil and chucked into a jail for my soul, where I lay alienated by the world that once surrounded me. My only company was the crazy thoughts of putting everything to an end and all because of constant unattainable dreams of perfection and unrealistic love, which turned out to be the downfall of my sanity. My limp carcass lay crumpled as though it was as gentle and fragile as a freshly picked flower wholes leaves began to brownen and putrefy under the fingers of life. This was the ultimate punishment for crimes I enjoyed committing. I could hear a voice calling me, but no matter how far I ran I couldn’t find it. Falling to my knees I scream out in maddening ecstasy for complete abandonment had been the very thing I wanted in the first place, hadn’t it? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 13 [informant] => surge_joebot [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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