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Array ( [sid] => 72079 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Beep Beep [time] => 2004-11-18 11:14:38 [hometext] => just having a vent, so please don't worry... [bodytext] => Beep, beep goes the machine,
Keeping me alive everyone seems keen,
All I wanted was to curl up & die,
But I wasn’t allowed I ask you why?

Why did you phone for the ambulance?
Why didn’t you let my suicide have its chance?
I didn’t want to stay alive why couldn’t you see?
To die was the only way I could be free.

Free from the unseen pain & torment,
No longer would I be unable to vent,
I would feel nothing from hurt to love,
As I placed my hand in the reapers glove.

But you saved me from meeting my death,
Stopped me from enjoying my last breath,
Now I have to suffer & live for another day,
All I wanted was for life to go away.

I just couldn’t go on I don’t have the strength,
I knew this fact as I swallowed my tenth,
Pill which was my choice, my only way out,
It would have worked I had no doubts.

That was until you found me laying there,
Why oh why did you have to show you care?
Next time please just leave me dying on the floor,
Just leave me to rot right through to my core.


[comments] => 8 [counter] => 171 [topic] => 36 [informant] => pixie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
Beep Beep

Contributed by pixie on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 11:14:38 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



Beep, beep goes the machine,
Keeping me alive everyone seems keen,
All I wanted was to curl up & die,
But I wasn’t allowed I ask you why?

Why did you phone for the ambulance?
Why didn’t you let my suicide have its chance?
I didn’t want to stay alive why couldn’t you see?
To die was the only way I could be free.

Free from the unseen pain & torment,
No longer would I be unable to vent,
I would feel nothing from hurt to love,
As I placed my hand in the reapers glove.

But you saved me from meeting my death,
Stopped me from enjoying my last breath,
Now I have to suffer & live for another day,
All I wanted was for life to go away.

I just couldn’t go on I don’t have the strength,
I knew this fact as I swallowed my tenth,
Pill which was my choice, my only way out,
It would have worked I had no doubts.

That was until you found me laying there,
Why oh why did you have to show you care?
Next time please just leave me dying on the floor,
Just leave me to rot right through to my core.






Copyright © pixie ... [ 2004-11-18 11:14:38]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by ladymaki on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 11:17:53 AM AEST
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Wow..I dont know what I'd do if I tried to kill myself, and someone saved me..having to deal with all of that after I woke up? Gah..it'd give me even more of a reason to kill myself..great write!


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by givingin on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 11:19:40 AM AEST
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Wow pixie,
that was such a great write.
emotional and sad.

Good write.

*~givingin~*


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 11:26:28 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I know how this one feels.
Its a good write i just wish i couldnt relate to it as much as i can

take care of yourself hun
*hugs you*

Gen xx


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 11:38:33 AM AEST
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great write pix, loads of emotion.

Johnny.


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 12:07:09 PM AEST
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I love the line
"as I placed my hand in the reapers glove"

when the paramedics came and tried to stop my bleeding..I kicked and screamed foul words at them..
telling them it was my choice..so I know how this write feels..nothing stopped the bleeding but the Dr.s work..I kept asking the ambulance to please stop..just let me bleed..they pressed so hard it hurt..I cried and begged.

They said it went against the oath they took..blah blah blah... but I love paramedics and firemen..and now I'm so glad to be alive..and that was such a selfish act on my part..people need me. I'm sure of it..somewhere..lol.

good job pixilator..


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by pander on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 01:13:26 PM AEST
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Perhaps favourite would be the wrong word to describe this poem. But it is very thought provoking.

How bad would someone feel if their best friend died? Next ask yourself how they would feel if the friend they saved was angry at them for doing it? Makes you think, doesn't it?

Perhaps this is not so much a piece about a suicidal individual being saved. More about a friendship dying? Who is the true victim? That is for the reader to decide.

My dear Pixie,
This works on so many different levels and in so many ways. Keep up the excellent work!

Luv as always,

Pander
xxxx


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by Catalina on Thursday, 18th November 2004 @ 01:27:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Been here recently... So well written. you are very talented.
~Catalina~


Re: Beep Beep (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Friday, 19th November 2004 @ 01:32:04 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
mmmmm this one rocks girl!!!!




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