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Array
(
[sid] => 71924
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => 911, Dangerous Water
[time] => 2004-11-17 11:54:29
[hometext] => written because I am making decisions in my life, and yeah, not sure what I'm doing anymore...
[bodytext] => I jumped into the pool again. I didn’t swim to the deep end, but I am once again in the water. HE is waiting in the middle, Wanting me to go to the deep end again, but I am not trusting of that water. The last time I swam to that deep water I almost drown. We were -at first- swimming well together, We played games, and were having fun; It was only after HE started pushing me under, that I moved to more shallow water. One time HE held me under for a while; I went to the hospital after that; I stopped breathing for a minute; EMS thought I was a goner. I had gone a week and a half since I have been near the pool, I hadn’t even wanted to think about it, I had thought I would never go into it again. But then the other day I called myself out. I stood at the edge and looked in for a long while. Then I decided to take a step in, Walk around in the shallow end. I feel safe at the shallow end, Away from the deep dark water where I almost died. HE is still there, Waiting at the deep end; Calling me over to swim with him. I am very hesitant to swim out there. I have moved into the middle, where The water is up to my neck. I am ready to bolt; I don’t know if I should trust the deep water. I don’t want to go into, deep water and need -once again- to dial 911. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 65 [informant] => dragonluvsong [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )
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