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Array ( [sid] => 71401 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => i, corrupt [time] => 2004-11-14 01:40:48 [hometext] => [bodytext] => we were drinking
and making out

and one thing led to another
i found myself the next morning
in your bed
covered in sweat
cold, red sweat
the smell of iron
and carbon
the industrial scent of-
your body
motionless
strewn across the floor like postponed integrity
so that's the odor.
that's the burning in my nostrils.

i don't remember much about that night
but pieces come back to me occasionally
photographs
and then...
movies in black and white
repeating

i see slideshows of her purity
corrupted
i tainted the film
so i did the only thing any decent person would do:
cut the cord and start from scratch. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 13 [informant] => summers [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

i, corrupt

Contributed by summers on Sunday, 14th November 2004 @ 01:40:48 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

we were drinking
and making out

and one thing led to another
i found myself the next morning
in your bed
covered in sweat
cold, red sweat
the smell of iron
and carbon
the industrial scent of-
your body
motionless
strewn across the floor like postponed integrity
so that's the odor.
that's the burning in my nostrils.

i don't remember much about that night
but pieces come back to me occasionally
photographs
and then...
movies in black and white
repeating

i see slideshows of her purity
corrupted
i tainted the film
so i did the only thing any decent person would do:
cut the cord and start from scratch.

Copyright © summers ... [ 2004-11-14 01:40:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: i, corrupt (User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on Sunday, 14th November 2004 @ 02:24:49 AM AEST
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I really liked this, though I (and maybe my ignorance is showing) but I don't get the end...no clue what you meant by cut the cord...I really liked this piece, just please tell me what you meant

Mason

Re: i, corrupt (User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on Sunday, 14th November 2004 @ 03:01:51 AM AEST
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wow, i love it

Re: i, corrupt (User Rating: 1 )
by summers on Sunday, 14th November 2004 @ 01:06:38 PM AEST
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by the end, i referred to destroying your creation and basically restarting..

as in...working with clay...if you screw up, you just clump it back together and try to make something new. "starting from scratch" refers to moving on to the next person.

i brought out the worst in something with my touch, so feeling it was my responsibility, i ended it.

so "cut the cord and start from scratch" literally means to "cut the [vocal] chord" and start over with someone new...hoping to like the creation this time.

i'm rambling.

Re: i, corrupt (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 15th November 2004 @ 04:57:31 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A relationship is a creation. I'm not sure if you created this person. You created the scenario, which is grand, but your ramble on with vocal chords/cords doesn't cut it. Excuse the pun. I would have preferred if you'd used some correlative editing technique, with perhaps a reference to 'the cutting room floor' or something that ties in the cinematique ethos you engender towards the end, which, If I may be so bold, was lovely.

Keep writing, summer - I like it when you do.

Re: i, corrupt (User Rating: 1 )
by summers on Tuesday, 16th November 2004 @ 09:33:59 AM AEST
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haha, yeah, the vocal chords thing was a shallow attempt at gorey humor...but "cut the cord" literally means to "trash your creation"...rather cliche, but it played a double meaning...

its literally tying it all together saying "i've destroyed this, i must start anew"

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