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Array
(
[sid] => 70922
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE!
[time] => 2004-11-10 10:56:44
[hometext] => I kept up a good rhyme flow in this but then lost in towards the end. I went to my next lesson and cracked. Please comment on here and take the time to read. If you think I’m a freak it wouldn’t hurt me if you just said it. Just be honest.
[bodytext] => … In lesson started laughing to pretend it wasn’t happening, but it was! It left me too out of it to make any effort. My friends thought it was funny and this girl started getting really mouthy at me… and I don’t get why … then after that lesson I went for my wrist again… I feel so mucked up now that I’m starting to go crazy… but I had to do this, ‘coz I’m gonna try killing my-self soon so if I push them away now, in the long run, they won’t hurt so bad! My head’s spinning. This emotion’s too strong. So far, I’ve actually been trying, But it feels so wrong! I’m trying to stand up. Trying to smile. I wish my head would shut up, And that I didn’t feel down. … But I MUST put up my defense! ‘Coz they CAN’T enter me. I’m rotting down to nothing. I’m too tired to concentrate. I’ve just got enough in me, To BREAK and push them away. I can’t hurt them any more. I can’t any longer stay… My head is screwed up and blocked. My wrist is too ugly for words. I’m f-ing trying to stay on! But, I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 163 [topic] => 36 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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