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Array ( [sid] => 70026 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Vampires Perspective [time] => 2004-11-03 17:59:50 [hometext] => This ones for my rpg character, which I should get around to drawing I think lol, plz comment!! [bodytext] => Can you see my shadow, dark amongst the ground,
As I walk so silently, moving without making a sound,
The branches all creaking, and rustling in the trees,
The faint scent of death, floating through the breeze,
The crisp winter snow, underneath my boot heels,
The look of evil upon you, and this is how it feels,
As I stare into your soul, I can see all that you ponder,
Try to run and hide, and for eternity you shall wander,
Little mouse where are you, you cannot escape my power,
Wander through my dark woods, for endless hour after hour,
I can see you baby, and you don't even know that I'm there,
You feel the shivers up your spine, well thats my deadly stare,
I watch your every move, and then I'll once again re-appear,
You'll be so confused, cuz you didnt know that I was near,
"Hello my darling" I will say, and you will stare wide-eyed,
"What do you want" you will ask, and I'll reply"Why, surprised"?,
"What I want from you is your life", and it's as simple as can be,
To drain away your life force, so just surrender yourself to me,
There is no need to fight back, and there's no need to run away,
I'll just hypnotize you darling, and right there is where you'll stay,
Fall to the ground lifeless, just as if you surrendered willingly,
That's right my sweetie, go ahead and give yourself to me freely,
Im an animal at her hunting game, your blood giving me life to live,
The blood spurting out of your body, just leaking like a sieve,
Then I'll toss your body down, wink and walk away from the now dead,
Toss aside my long dark hair, and throw back my beautiful head,
As I carry on into the night's darkness, seeking another person too,
You better watch our my darlings, because that person might be you.

[comments] => 3 [counter] => 141 [topic] => 13 [informant] => XxNights_ChildxX [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
Vampires Perspective

Contributed by XxNights_ChildxX on Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 05:59:50 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



Can you see my shadow, dark amongst the ground,
As I walk so silently, moving without making a sound,
The branches all creaking, and rustling in the trees,
The faint scent of death, floating through the breeze,
The crisp winter snow, underneath my boot heels,
The look of evil upon you, and this is how it feels,
As I stare into your soul, I can see all that you ponder,
Try to run and hide, and for eternity you shall wander,
Little mouse where are you, you cannot escape my power,
Wander through my dark woods, for endless hour after hour,
I can see you baby, and you don't even know that I'm there,
You feel the shivers up your spine, well thats my deadly stare,
I watch your every move, and then I'll once again re-appear,
You'll be so confused, cuz you didnt know that I was near,
"Hello my darling" I will say, and you will stare wide-eyed,
"What do you want" you will ask, and I'll reply"Why, surprised"?,
"What I want from you is your life", and it's as simple as can be,
To drain away your life force, so just surrender yourself to me,
There is no need to fight back, and there's no need to run away,
I'll just hypnotize you darling, and right there is where you'll stay,
Fall to the ground lifeless, just as if you surrendered willingly,
That's right my sweetie, go ahead and give yourself to me freely,
Im an animal at her hunting game, your blood giving me life to live,
The blood spurting out of your body, just leaking like a sieve,
Then I'll toss your body down, wink and walk away from the now dead,
Toss aside my long dark hair, and throw back my beautiful head,
As I carry on into the night's darkness, seeking another person too,
You better watch our my darlings, because that person might be you.





Copyright © XxNights_ChildxX ... [ 2004-11-03 17:59:50]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Vampires Perspective (User Rating: 1 )
by Dralion on Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 09:23:07 PM AEST
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Vampire--The Masquerade, I presume.

Of what clan may I ask?


Re: Vampires Perspective (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 09:56:02 AM AEST
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I have an addiction to reading any type of novel with a vampire story line. I couldn't help but read your poem.

I thought it was very good, indeed.

Kie


Re: Vampires Perspective (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 05:16:42 PM AEST
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Yes, yes - all very well - I see your rhyme at play here. The quotes should really be spoken more clearly and pleeeease refrain from using 'cuz' in abbreviation, eh? It sort of detracts from the effort you put into this rather large write.

By the way - one of my double-rhymes was a vampire poem, which is somewhat similar in its predatory aspect to this.

Anyway - watch your syllabic count on each line for a start, and a rewrite of this may not sound so contrived, even if it is rhymed with talent...

Keep writing.




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