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Array ( [sid] => 69999 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Ultimate Test [time] => 2004-11-03 15:01:32 [hometext] => [bodytext] => behind a fake smile I hide
because of all the pain inside
I go to school everyday
just wanting to run away
I don't know where I want to be
all I know is I don't wanna be me
I hate myself down to my soul
this cutting and depression is taking its toll
this life has just gone down the drain
drowning alone in all my pain
I wish I would have never been born
maybe then I wouldn't be so torn
I thought of writing another suicide letter
because what's the use, I'll never get better
there are the voices in my head
that tell me I should be dead
and the wounds upon my skin
because I cut again and again
I have a heart full of pain
and a life with nothing to gain
I have so much anger held in my chest
that my life must stand the ultimate test
to live or to die
or commit suicide [comments] => 3 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 36 [informant] => screwup [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

The Ultimate Test

Contributed by screwup on Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 03:01:32 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

behind a fake smile I hide
because of all the pain inside
I go to school everyday
just wanting to run away
I don't know where I want to be
all I know is I don't wanna be me
I hate myself down to my soul
this cutting and depression is taking its toll
this life has just gone down the drain
drowning alone in all my pain
I wish I would have never been born
maybe then I wouldn't be so torn
I thought of writing another suicide letter
because what's the use, I'll never get better
there are the voices in my head
that tell me I should be dead
and the wounds upon my skin
because I cut again and again
I have a heart full of pain
and a life with nothing to gain
I have so much anger held in my chest
that my life must stand the ultimate test
to live or to die
or commit suicide

Copyright © screwup ... [ 2004-11-03 15:01:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Ultimate Test (User Rating: 1 )
by joe-joe on Wednesday, 3rd November 2004 @ 03:31:04 PM AEST
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When it comes to suicidual thoughts you are not along, but to give into them would be tragic... ensightful read...

Re: The Ultimate Test (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 05:50:38 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this was a tragic and deep write, alot of people dont really know what goes on inside, i can realte to you and your writes, another well expressed and painful write from you,
takecare

pixie xx

Re: The Ultimate Test (User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on Thursday, 4th November 2004 @ 10:37:13 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hey...
Whatever u do don't fail this test!!! I know it's hard... just hang in there okay babe? Don't give all the naysayers the satisfaction...
Love ya babe...
~Donna~

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