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Array
(
[sid] => 69872
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Smudge It All Away
[time] => 2004-11-02 17:57:26
[hometext] => This is not, technically, very good at all. But i haven't written in so long, and this took a lot out of me, so i didnt want to change the original. x_x_x
[bodytext] => Sickness rises in my throat, trembling hands give it all away. Stepping across the threshold, I smell that familiar smell Faces, people, I hide (don't look at me) - I can't face them today; My face, my non-existence says it all - nothing left to tell. Tears, pouring as never-ending rain. They will never understand, if I can't understand myself. Input from me (they're still waiting), and me they blame; Grudges still held, mutuality, no attempt at comprehending. Recognition, dismission, confusion, disruption; I seem to have done it all over again - Ruined days, months, lives with my depression And the ink sets in deeper, an eternal bloodstain. Hanging by a tenterhook, I wait; A month to wait for somene to tell me to fight. I know not how to get out of this state; Whilst my blood shows me the way out of the light. Thoughts scattering, mind wandering away from me To you, my darling, and your face, your lips, your eyes. I take myself to a land of happiness, where I can be free; I take myself, with you, to the skies (no more lies). Thoughts, ideas, of ending it all; No more hiccups, just one last fall. No concrete to land on, no pain hereafter; Just an everlasting dream of myself with you. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 189 [topic] => 48 [informant] => afraid_of_fear [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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