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Array ( [sid] => 69711 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => lonesome lullaby [time] => 2004-11-01 16:09:19 [hometext] => [bodytext] => do you ever feel lonely?
just the same as me.
lost and without,
lonely as can be.
to sit beside,
noone is there.
without a word ,
thoughtless dispair.
with scattered winds,
a whisper goes by.
you grab for it ,
just a lonesome lullaby.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 2 [informant] => freda_burrel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

lonesome lullaby

Contributed by freda_burrel on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:09:19 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

do you ever feel lonely?
just the same as me.
lost and without,
lonely as can be.
to sit beside,
noone is there.
without a word ,
thoughtless dispair.
with scattered winds,
a whisper goes by.
you grab for it ,
just a lonesome lullaby.

Copyright © freda_burrel ... [ 2004-11-01 16:09:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: lonesome lullaby (User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:11:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I absolutely loved this poem...It was just simply beautiful

Mason

Re: lonesome lullaby (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:19:54 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Thanks for writing it. I'd like to point out a couple of things I think would make it better in my eyes.

"to sit beside,
noone is there."

That confuses me. I'm not even sure if the punctuation is supposed to help (sitting beside no-one?) as it threw me when I was just getting into it.

I'm also not sure about scattered winds, as 'scattering' something means something physical, like seeds or earth or something more tangible than air. Apart from this, I thought it was worth the effort to comment because the poem demanded my attention.

Hope this helps in some way,
Keep writing.

Re: lonesome lullaby (User Rating: 1 )
by StoneAngel on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 04:30:12 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I know exactly how you feel. This poem speaks valume. love it. its kinda happy/sad.

Re: lonesome lullaby (User Rating: 1 )
by joe-joe on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 05:21:24 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Sooner are later, we all feel that sense of lonliness, nice write...

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