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Array ( [sid] => 69650 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Life Sentence [time] => 2004-11-01 08:02:59 [hometext] => this is what my rapist left me with.... [bodytext] => I have been given a life sentence,
To me that doesn’t make sense,
I didn’t do anything wrong,
But I will pay my whole life long.

I can hear his sickening laughter,
Even to this day a long, long time after,
I can still picture it like it was yesterday,
It never truly leaves me or goes away.

The thing is I didn’t scream of fight,
I didn’t dare utter a single word of plight,
He told me not to scream turned & the music up,
I thought he was about to smash my cup.

Set adrift on memory bliss playing in the background,
Other then that there was no real sound,
I tried to remove my mind from where I was,
Tried to make myself disappear into the fuzz.

When I wash I never feel totally clean,
Did he prey on me because my vulnerabilities were seen?
Or did I send him signals, was I asking for it?
Did I really deserve a life time of *****!

[comments] => 6 [counter] => 152 [topic] => 48 [informant] => pixie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Life Sentence

Contributed by pixie on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:02:59 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

I have been given a life sentence,
To me that doesn’t make sense,
I didn’t do anything wrong,
But I will pay my whole life long.

I can hear his sickening laughter,
Even to this day a long, long time after,
I can still picture it like it was yesterday,
It never truly leaves me or goes away.

The thing is I didn’t scream of fight,
I didn’t dare utter a single word of plight,
He told me not to scream turned & the music up,
I thought he was about to smash my cup.

Set adrift on memory bliss playing in the background,
Other then that there was no real sound,
I tried to remove my mind from where I was,
Tried to make myself disappear into the fuzz.

When I wash I never feel totally clean,
Did he prey on me because my vulnerabilities were seen?
Or did I send him signals, was I asking for it?
Did I really deserve a life time of *****!

Copyright Â© pixie ... [ 2004-11-01 08:02:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Life Sentence (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:09:13 AM AEST
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Nobody deserves what you went through, especially not you, some people are just pervertly sick b********ts I'm sorry for your pain, Pixie and hope you are able to find peace somehow, to be able to move someday, Take care always and peace be with you.

Karl

Re: Life Sentence (User Rating: 1 )
by Catalina on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:10:24 AM AEST
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Never allow such a thing to own you... I didn't scream or fight, there for I felt as if I allowed it... But here & now is who you are... A choice we have to be anything & anyone... I love your poetry... I relate so much...

Re: Life Sentence (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 08:23:34 AM AEST
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I will pray for your healing. I know there are things in this life that seem like they can never be made right. I have never been raped, but I've had my share of hardship. The truth is that you can be healed. I have seen things that were broken that I never dreamed could be fixed, but it has happened. Don't ever give up.
Stitch

Re: Life Sentence (User Rating: 1 )
by Bruce on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 01:04:33 PM AEST
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so sad pixie, i really feel your pain

Re: Life Sentence (User Rating: 1 )
by SuchGreatHeights on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 02:38:59 PM AEST
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I wish i could anything more than praying for you. I know what your going through, and frankly, i wish everything that you never had to go through something as horrible as that. your an amazing writer, and if u ever need someone to talk to, i think their is more than enough help from the people here.

Re: Life Sentence (User Rating: 1 )
by Dawny on Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 03:07:45 PM AEST
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Keep moving forward pixie, I know its hard but you can do it. I feel your pain, Ive not been raped but I was sexually abused as a child, and your right it never really goes away. Dont give up or they win.

Love Dawny x

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