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Array
(
[sid] => 69074
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Goodbye Reality, Goodbye Sanity
[time] => 2004-10-27 13:38:39
[hometext] => I shall bid goodbye
[bodytext] => I shall say goodbye to my reality & my sanity, My mind has taken so much of hurts profanity, It just can’t seem to take anymore its too weak, I feel like some sort of weirdo, some sort of freak. None of my so called friends have cuts on their arms, None of my loving family understands self harm, People just look at me when I drink to block out pain, All they say is oh look Krissie’s ***** again. My wonderful boyfriend is suffering because of me, I fill him with hurt; I used to fill him with glee, I feel so ashamed & guilty for what I’ve done & said, I just feel I’d be doing everyone a favour if I were dead. I drink to forget about my pain as it numbs my mind, When I’m drunk my demons can not seem to find, They can’t get to me & drive me insane, As I am somewhere else, not in my brain. But the next day I have always caused someone hurt, While I’ve been so drunk treated them like dirt, I am always so genuinely sorry, full of regret, But it’s too late the heart aches already set. I don’t feel in control of myself all the time, I babble incoherently & speak in rhymes, It’s like someone has crawled underneath my skin, Taken total control over everything that’s within. I just want someone to hug me & say they understand, Tell me I’m not alone as I wander through this land, I even feel totally alone in amongst a crowd Feel like I am dying, feel I’m about to drown. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 32 [informant] => pixie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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