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Array ( [sid] => 68949 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Pain [time] => 2004-10-26 16:39:44 [hometext] => This is just something a wrote a couple months ago...not sure where it came from. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!!! *gets down on hands and knees and begs* [bodytext] => Pain.
It creeps up the stairs,down the hall.
It appraoches her door.
Slowly,the door handle turns.
Slowly,the door inches open.
Finally,Pain is standing in her doorway.
Slowly,it walks towards her.
Slowly,it reaches out its hand.
Slowy,its touch comes to rest on her.
Slowly,she is engulfed by Pain.
She screams,to no avail.
She crumbles in pain.
As she lies,hunched on the floor
Slowly,the light leaves.
Slowly,she is left in complete darkness.
Slowly,she is left at the mercy of Pain.
It retreats.
She gains hope that she may be spared.
Hope, is crushed.
Pain, comes back.
With the force of a thousand knives.
Peircing,her all at once.
Suddenly,she awakes.
Only,to find.
That she.
Has died. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 228 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Live2Die [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 16 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Pain

Contributed by Live2Die on Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 04:39:44 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Pain.
It creeps up the stairs,down the hall.
It appraoches her door.
Slowly,the door handle turns.
Slowly,the door inches open.
Finally,Pain is standing in her doorway.
Slowly,it walks towards her.
Slowly,it reaches out its hand.
Slowy,its touch comes to rest on her.
Slowly,she is engulfed by Pain.
She screams,to no avail.
She crumbles in pain.
As she lies,hunched on the floor
Slowly,the light leaves.
Slowly,she is left in complete darkness.
Slowly,she is left at the mercy of Pain.
It retreats.
She gains hope that she may be spared.
Hope, is crushed.
Pain, comes back.
With the force of a thousand knives.
Peircing,her all at once.
Suddenly,she awakes.
Only,to find.
That she.
Has died.

Copyright © Live2Die ... [ 2004-10-26 16:39:44]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 05:18:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

ya know..I've tried beggin for comments..forget it..that don't work either rotflmao...my heart and soul just died..so I'm not in much of a mood..but I need the diversion, so here goes. I liked it, but if she died..how did she wake up? and where was she? did you do that for shock value? Oh by the way..I even offered to pay cash for comments..didn't work. LOL

Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by 2ndChance on Tuesday, 26th October 2004 @ 07:53:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very compelling stuff...I like the way you use "Pain" as a subject...as an actual person...very nice poem.

Re: Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by RhythmBndt on Thursday, 28th October 2004 @ 09:29:08 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very nice. Neat structure.

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