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Array ( [sid] => 68679 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Bleeding tears...I changed it and finished it... [time] => 2004-10-24 14:24:20 [hometext] => I changed it a little bit... please comment even if you think it sucks i wanna know... [bodytext] => When my depression gets too intense,
and I don't know where to turn
my heart starts to bleed with anger
and my tears begin to burn.
It feels like I’m choking
making it harder to breathe
I have to clench my jaw tightly
as my shattered soul seethes.
Then this indefinable urge
manipulates my mind
compelling self-destruction
to release tears that I’ve confined.
It's a sickening sensation
to inflict my flesh with a blade,
then watch my blood drip
as the pain starts to fade.
So I use the sharp tip of a razor
to tear through my skin
and all the blood that flows out
is every tear I’ve held in.
As I bleed away the acid tears
that were burning through my eyes,
I can slowly unclench my jaw
that was fighting back my cries.
For that moment I stop choking
on all the words I need to say,
a few minutes with out the hurt
that haunts me everyday.
It's the only time I feel relief,
when I bleed my tears...
When every emotion has gone numb,
and I’m free from all my fears......
It has become a sick and vicious cycle
that I need to ease my pain
but if this affliction keeps progressing
I'm gonna hit a vein...............
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 61 [informant] => se1f-destruct [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Bleeding tears...I changed it and finished it...

Contributed by se1f-destruct on Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 02:24:20 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

When my depression gets too intense,
and I don't know where to turn
my heart starts to bleed with anger
and my tears begin to burn.
It feels like I’m choking
making it harder to breathe
I have to clench my jaw tightly
as my shattered soul seethes.
Then this indefinable urge
manipulates my mind
compelling self-destruction
to release tears that I’ve confined.
It's a sickening sensation
to inflict my flesh with a blade,
then watch my blood drip
as the pain starts to fade.
So I use the sharp tip of a razor
to tear through my skin
and all the blood that flows out
is every tear I’ve held in.
As I bleed away the acid tears
that were burning through my eyes,
I can slowly unclench my jaw
that was fighting back my cries.
For that moment I stop choking
on all the words I need to say,
a few minutes with out the hurt
that haunts me everyday.
It's the only time I feel relief,
when I bleed my tears...
When every emotion has gone numb,
and I’m free from all my fears......
It has become a sick and vicious cycle
that I need to ease my pain
but if this affliction keeps progressing
I'm gonna hit a vein...............

Copyright Â© se1f-destruct ... [ 2004-10-24 14:24:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Bleeding tears...I changed it and finished it... (User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 02:41:19 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i'm a cutter too!
so i under stand just where you're comming from.
do people in your life not under you?
they don't under stand me at all when it comes to cutting, they see it as wong, and loads of them see it as a cowards escape.

i know what you mean about the fear for hitting a vein... you can PM me if you wanna chat, and if you wanna quit, i know some ways of trying to. they didn't work for me much but i'd like to think that they could 'posssibly' help you.

Re: Bleeding tears...I changed it and finished it... (User Rating: 1 )
by willworkformilk on Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 03:59:49 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I only cut once so I know I can't really talk about it that much and try to help you but I know its addicting. I wanted to cut atleast 2-3 times a week for like 6 months, from just that one time. Like I said I only did it once 'cause my best friend had me promise not to do it again and I try not to brake my promises so that's pretty much the only reason why the number of times stayed at one. But I also know that you can stop if you really want to, it'll be hard and everything but you can do it if you want to. Anywho if you want to PM me go ahead if there is any way I can help I would love to.

~Even when nobody gets you, God understands~

Re: Bleeding tears...I changed it and finished it... (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 09:00:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

you said if I think it sucks you wanna know..I love comments that start that way LOL. No..the rhyming was good and the poetry etc was great. I can't take the subject matter because I want to hug all of you cutters to my ample bosom and take away the pain..then I'm in a deep dark hole for weeks..because I can't do jack..
There, I've said it again; but I do care and that has to count for something..so Please don't keep trying or yes, you will eventually hit a vein and you won't bleed gold!

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