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Array
(
[sid] => 66955
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => What was I supposed to do...?
[time] => 2004-10-11 10:43:15
[hometext] => What was I meant to say to my friend? How was I meant to not show her? I said I hadn’t cut so she wanted to see my arm as proof! I wanted her to realize why I’d done it! But I don’t think she did. What was I meant to do? Tell me what you think please…!
[bodytext] => She asked me if I’d cut.
And my answer was a straight “no”.
But then it turned to flimsy sounds,
As I kept repeating “no”.
She said she knew I had,
So I laughed but kept my head down,
So she couldn’t see the rising tears,
And my little broken frown.
She said I better not have done!
So I asked what she’d do if I had.
I looked up and our eyes met,
She gave me evils like I’d been bad.
She pulled me into the toilets,
And demanded to see my arm.
When I told her one was in bandage,
Her breathing was far from calm.
She asked to see my other arm.
So I pulled up my sleeve half-way.
I had no marks where I showed her,
‘Coz underneath are the real scars of pain.
Above where she didn’t see,
I’ve got two dark little cuts.
I wanted her to realize,
I self-harm so I don’t erupt.
I asked her to under stand,
Why I HAD to lie.
But when she looked through me,
It pulled down all my disguise.
She said it would hurt her more,
If I didn’t tell her the truth.
But it would hurt her just to know...
SO WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO???
[comments] => 6
[counter] => 191
[topic] => 32
[informant] => deathdrop
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 10
[ratings] => 2
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => SadPoetry
)
What was I supposed to do...?
Contributed by
deathdrop
on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 10:43:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
She asked me if I’d cut.
And my answer was a straight “no”.
But then it turned to flimsy sounds,
As I kept repeating “no”.
She said she knew I had,
So I laughed but kept my head down,
So she couldn’t see the rising tears,
And my little broken frown.
She said I better not have done!
So I asked what she’d do if I had.
I looked up and our eyes met,
She gave me evils like I’d been bad.
She pulled me into the toilets,
And demanded to see my arm.
When I told her one was in bandage,
Her breathing was far from calm.
She asked to see my other arm.
So I pulled up my sleeve half-way.
I had no marks where I showed her,
‘Coz underneath are the real scars of pain.
Above where she didn’t see,
I’ve got two dark little cuts.
I wanted her to realize,
I self-harm so I don’t erupt.
I asked her to under stand,
Why I HAD to lie.
But when she looked through me,
It pulled down all my disguise.
She said it would hurt her more,
If I didn’t tell her the truth.
But it would hurt her just to know...
SO WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO???
Copyright ©
deathdrop
... [
2004-10-11 10:43:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What was I supposed to do...?
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 10:54:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
it must be very hard and quite disturbing for your friend to see your cuts and scars as I know how my friends and Mark has looked at mne and they just don't see the reasoning behind self harming, I can still the the look on Marks face when I last done it, it was awful it upset him so much , for that alone I wont do it again (well I will try my best)
I think that maybe you would benefit from seeking some professional help, I am still waiting for my appointment to come through..
takecare,
pixie xx
a pained write |
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Re: What was I supposed to do...?
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 11:02:31 AM AEST
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|
I love the rhymes you come up with. ..I really like
But when she looked through me,
It pulled down all my disguise.
that's really clever...I don't like the cutting thing though because my precious grandaughter does it and I worry about her sooo much. I want to take all that pain away and I can't...I want to take yours away too.
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Re: What was I supposed to do...?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 11:04:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Honey I loved that poem. I totaly relate. I am freakin married and my husband yells at me when he sees even a little scrape. I try to do it in places where no one will see, but when you are married there are really none of them. You can;t keep stuff like that secret no matter how hard you try. But maybe that is a good thing. Maybe you need her to see so you can see that someone cares so much about you. If you are ashamed to show her then you must know it is not good to cut. I have been doing this stupid stuff for eight freakin years. I drive myfelf crazy. About the professional help, maybe... I see a psychiatrist and they gave me kolonopins and i feel like a million dollars and sooo relaxed. Maybe you would benefit from seeing someone in oorder to find a new way to release the pain. Whatever you do remember your friend only cares and it hurts her to see you hurt yourself, evn though in your eyes you are doing yourself a favor. |
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Re: What was I supposed to do...?
(User Rating: 1 )
by ALineAboveTheStepBeneath on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 11:10:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Amazing and sad. It flows so beautifully. |
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Re: What was I supposed to do...?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:18:20 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You really have a good friend over there. Anyway, great write over here an interesting poem with a great theme. Anyway, I hope you'll stop harming yourself because you do have wonderful friends around you and you wouldn't want to hurt theri feelings, would you? Anyway, take care friend :-) |
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Re: What was I supposed to do...?
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 01:09:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I can definetly understand why the hell you would lie... I've done it myself... you just don't wanna hurt them right? and it hurts them to know that you hurt yourself... it hurts me cause I understand the unbearable pain behind it... and I know what your goin thru...
great poem, and take a lot of care,
Deanna |
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