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Array
(
[sid] => 66922
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
[time] => 2004-10-11 00:49:01
[hometext] => * Wrote this yesterday it could be psychotic I spose, but self-struggle sounds better... I'm sorry I don't have any encouraging words in this poem or advice or w/e it was just the place I was at... I won't bore you with the story*
[bodytext] => My hands are tied behind my back
My lips move, but always chew on nothingness
Choking back tears until they consume me
Praying to no longer exist
So cold, so tired, so infinitely lost
Carved up with serrated kisses
My past now the searing present
Tears drip from my face and arms
Useless...useless...useless...useless
Smiles have fled long ago
An aching weight (I wait)
As fear tears me apart
My carefully built walls
(All these years lost in a second)
So sick, so vulnerable, so...
Stabbing myself with red hot pokers
Deprivation, Mutilation, Emotionally
I search for that vein (in vain)
Surrounded by only the whistling cold
And the voices so loud, so h(a)unted
Give in with a meek whisper of discontent
And then fall so fast into the valley
Drinking from this bloodied stream
That I contaminated (so guilty)
So deep this wellspring of doubt
Falling, falling, I've fallen
Torn apart skin
A serene (disturbed) smile
As the chant becomes louder
Useless...useless...useless...useless
[comments] => 21
[counter] => 228
[topic] => 61
[informant] => bobotheclown
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 29
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => selfstruggles
)
Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 12:49:01 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
My hands are tied behind my back
My lips move, but always chew on nothingness
Choking back tears until they consume me
Praying to no longer exist
So cold, so tired, so infinitely lost
Carved up with serrated kisses
My past now the searing present
Tears drip from my face and arms
Useless...useless...useless...useless
Smiles have fled long ago
An aching weight (I wait)
As fear tears me apart
My carefully built walls
(All these years lost in a second)
So sick, so vulnerable, so...
Stabbing myself with red hot pokers
Deprivation, Mutilation, Emotionally
I search for that vein (in vain)
Surrounded by only the whistling cold
And the voices so loud, so h(a)unted
Give in with a meek whisper of discontent
And then fall so fast into the valley
Drinking from this bloodied stream
That I contaminated (so guilty)
So deep this wellspring of doubt
Falling, falling, I've fallen
Torn apart skin
A serene (disturbed) smile
As the chant becomes louder
Useless...useless...useless...useless
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2004-10-11 00:49:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 12:55:14 AM AEST
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| Hey, this is just so sad but it's a great poem though. I hope life will treat you better in the future. I hope and pray that you'll be all right soon. Take care my friend. |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 12:58:38 AM AEST
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Wow this is heart wrencing sad but very well said.
All poetry can't always be good if we are honest with ourselves. No reason to apologize for what u feel.
I hope by now u r feeeling much better tho.
I really don't know what triggered these feelings but u r in my prayers.
Please hang in there friend as u r luved by many on this site and I'm sure none of us see u as useless.
Luv, huggs, faith, hope, courage, strength,
emy |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 01:09:58 AM AEST
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Wow this was really good. I'm sorry you were feeling this bad tho hun. :( I use self mutilation as a form of relief too. :- Its not very good. I hope ur alright.
I like how u used the multiple meanings for the words. It works quite well. You're really talented. :) |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 01:20:56 AM AEST
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| Dude if you need to talk man i am here as you are for me so what ever p/m me |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 04:02:16 AM AEST
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wow, this really good, youve captured the emotions so wondefully, my favourite bit would have to be:
Stabbing myself with red hot pokers
Deprivation, Mutilation, Emotionally
I search for that vein (in vain)
Surrounded by only the whistling cold
And the voices so loud, so h(a)unted
its amazing, its poetry and pain as one. |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 04:22:39 AM AEST
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oh i'm sorry that things are bad for you. keep venting but don't think you're useless...! you're good at writing after all! don't give up hope just yet and i'm here if you wanna chat... ok?
from deathdrop. |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 05:33:57 AM AEST
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Fantastic. Psychotic you may have been, but your grasp of the langauge persisted throughout your darkest hour. A big fan of wordplay myself, the "h(a)unted" and other parenthesized portions put a smile firmly on my face. It's definitely a gem to come upon depression so well expressed--and while offering my condolences, I also offer you utmost praise. The workings of this poem played my heart like a fine-tuned instrument, and struck chords so personal it was as if they were mine.
Once again, fantastic.
~The Palatine Poet. |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 05:57:49 AM AEST
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such a moving and sad write Joel,
well expressed,
pixie xx |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 06:50:40 AM AEST
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Im sorry if your feeling this sad, hope things get better soon for you.
As always take care and god bless.
Janex |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 06:50:44 AM AEST
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Im sorry if your feeling this sad, hope things get better soon for you.
As always take care and god bless.
Jane x |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 09:13:32 AM AEST
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Dude this poem, is woah so dam sad, Are you ok man?
The poem in it self is so visual and flows natually, and so beautifully written, dude You have an awesome talent for making words paint such vivid and clear images, and flow with emotional feelings, I hope you find the solace you seek, and the love needed to make you whole or at least happy.
Take care always joel
Ya mate Karl |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 02:43:23 AM AEST
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very moving..there is strong reality of life..very sad..there is heartfelt pain..as always it is awesome. excellent work.. such works are really heart touching only from your pen.:-)
venkat |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 03:55:34 PM AEST
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| the feeling of being bound......and the serene disturbed smile.......your words touch the core here....... |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Thursday, 14th October 2004 @ 03:36:31 PM AEST
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This one is bleeding pain...
alot of hurt here...
and thoroughly conveyed.
A helluva write.
--Mothy |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by skyblumoon on
Friday, 15th October 2004 @ 12:11:34 PM AEST
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Very deep and powerful. What a wonderfully sad write.
Blu |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chanti on
Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 09:11:12 PM AEST
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Amazing. I can't even decide which lines i like best, for they are all so beautifully written. You are not useless. You have an amazing gift with words and wisdom. I hope you always use it and never give up.
- Chanti |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 10:32:49 PM AEST
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Wow Joel...Wow. That was amazing, so empty if you know what I mean... I could feel the pain in me too, memories of the past ya know? You did an amazing job of imagery and just describing how it feels. I also love how you put some stuff in brackets after it, to add in to your poem... like (I wait) and (in vain) and h(a)unted. That really added to it. I'm glad you're making it through pain like this. I need you around on msn ;) lol.
Great write, catch ya later. |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 10:35:26 PM AEST
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| This is(n't) poetry..this is brilliance. (clapping, stomping, waving a flag... |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 29th October 2004 @ 01:22:05 AM AEST
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You had me pretty early on with this piece... it was:
so infinitely lost
... that grabs me and drew me in. The remainder of the piece held me - though, it was heartwrenching to read.
This (as so clearly evident by the other comments here) is a powerful and moving piece. Well constructed, emotive.
Hoping you're a few steps away from this write by now,
SNM |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 11:14:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| even pain cannot mask talent or worth... |
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Re: Useless...Useless...Useless...Useless (This Isn't Poetry, This is Pain)
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 06:09:36 AM AEST
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| joel, this...i can't, i don't know what to say. you have a gift, so deep and so wholly yours that it takes my breath away. you tell so many people that you wish you could write like them, when you just need to open your eyes and realise, that you are one of the most talented people i know. your words flow through me...there's an honestly that allows every person to enter your mind and feel these feelings, and it burns. smile, darling, the sun's shining for you today xxx |
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