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Array ( [sid] => 6668 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => An Ode To My Fat Body [time] => 2002-11-14 12:00:00 [hometext] => Ok, so I'm not really "fat" about 30/40 lbs overweight (some say not even that!) but i hate being chunky and hate taht I have an addiction to fast food!!! [bodytext] => I hate my body.
It’s so ugly and fat.
Looks like cellulite said “Conquer!
Let’s go and attack!”
From Doritos and Krispy Kreme
To Big Whoppers and DQ.
Alas, I no longer talk, rather I moo!
I have dimples and dings
Dents and dots.
If that wasn’t bad enough – look! I have
Cottage cheese knots!
What happened to me?
This I ask.
Did the Fat Fairy visit me one night
while I slept in my bed.
Sprinkling calories all over me until
I had enough high blood pressure to make me dead?
Sometimes I think so, for I really don’t know how I got this way.
(Although I rather have a snickers bars rather than a piece of hay.)
You see, I look at my body,
And what I see.
Is someone else – it’s not me.
I look at pictures, albums, tv and videos.
That ain’t I, for all I can recognize,
are my toes.
My arm’s are like bat wings.
I swear, that if I jumped off a bridge, I could fly.
For my arms, as long and jiggly as they are, if flapped,
Could take me sky high.
As for my thighs – oh…my..word!
There are so big and round that they look like elephant turds!
As for my stomach, forget it. That’s a lost cause.
They have enough rolls to make up a roomful of ER gauze.
And if you thought that was bad enough,
just want until I tell you about my boobs. (or should I say, my “goobs”?)
They sag and droop so low.
So low, that I think they have forgotten where to go!
Yes, I hate my body. And that’s for a fact.
Sometimes I wish I were a balloon and had a small tack!
But as for right now, I’ll just finish up my Big Mac.
And finish up looking at the biggest size on the rack.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 283 [topic] => 7 [informant] => lisalisacool [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
An Ode To My Fat Body

Contributed by lisalisacool on Thursday, 14th November 2002 @ 12:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry



I hate my body.
It’s so ugly and fat.
Looks like cellulite said “Conquer!
Let’s go and attack!”
From Doritos and Krispy Kreme
To Big Whoppers and DQ.
Alas, I no longer talk, rather I moo!
I have dimples and dings
Dents and dots.
If that wasn’t bad enough – look! I have
Cottage cheese knots!
What happened to me?
This I ask.
Did the Fat Fairy visit me one night
while I slept in my bed.
Sprinkling calories all over me until
I had enough high blood pressure to make me dead?
Sometimes I think so, for I really don’t know how I got this way.
(Although I rather have a snickers bars rather than a piece of hay.)
You see, I look at my body,
And what I see.
Is someone else – it’s not me.
I look at pictures, albums, tv and videos.
That ain’t I, for all I can recognize,
are my toes.
My arm’s are like bat wings.
I swear, that if I jumped off a bridge, I could fly.
For my arms, as long and jiggly as they are, if flapped,
Could take me sky high.
As for my thighs – oh…my..word!
There are so big and round that they look like elephant turds!
As for my stomach, forget it. That’s a lost cause.
They have enough rolls to make up a roomful of ER gauze.
And if you thought that was bad enough,
just want until I tell you about my boobs. (or should I say, my “goobs”?)
They sag and droop so low.
So low, that I think they have forgotten where to go!
Yes, I hate my body. And that’s for a fact.
Sometimes I wish I were a balloon and had a small tack!
But as for right now, I’ll just finish up my Big Mac.
And finish up looking at the biggest size on the rack.




Copyright © lisalisacool ... [ 2002-11-14 12:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: An Ode To My Fat Body (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Thursday, 14th November 2002 @ 12:19:34 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Very cute!!
I'm sure many can relate to this one.
The men will surly will like the part about beeing the biggest one on the racks.
emy


Re: An Ode To My Fat Body (User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on Thursday, 14th November 2002 @ 01:22:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
This is so sad , some people
don't realize how much of a struggle
other's go through with their weight
For some people eating is like
breathing life. And for some
People they can eat all they
want and never gain an ounce
Thanks for writing
this one i enjoyed reading it
.::´¯`·..· OreO·..·´¯`::.


Re: An Ode To My Fat Body (User Rating: 1 )
by ashleigh4 on Friday, 13th December 2002 @ 04:45:06 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
thankyou for this i can really relate to this poem. i hav always seen myself as fat (im a size 12) and i have suffered eating problems because of this... thankyou for this creativity :)


Re: An Ode To My Fat Body (User Rating: 1 )
by kegs04 on Wednesday, 29th January 2003 @ 07:36:43 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
hey chica, i enjoyed this, very funny good write, very creative!
~peace




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