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Array
(
[sid] => 6668
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => An Ode To My Fat Body
[time] => 2002-11-14 12:00:00
[hometext] => Ok, so I'm not really "fat" about 30/40 lbs overweight (some say not even that!) but i hate being chunky and hate taht I have an addiction to fast food!!!
[bodytext] => I hate my body.
It’s so ugly and fat. Looks like cellulite said “Conquer! Let’s go and attack!” From Doritos and Krispy Kreme To Big Whoppers and DQ. Alas, I no longer talk, rather I moo! I have dimples and dings Dents and dots. If that wasn’t bad enough – look! I have Cottage cheese knots! What happened to me? This I ask. Did the Fat Fairy visit me one night while I slept in my bed. Sprinkling calories all over me until I had enough high blood pressure to make me dead? Sometimes I think so, for I really don’t know how I got this way. (Although I rather have a snickers bars rather than a piece of hay.) You see, I look at my body, And what I see. Is someone else – it’s not me. I look at pictures, albums, tv and videos. That ain’t I, for all I can recognize, are my toes. My arm’s are like bat wings. I swear, that if I jumped off a bridge, I could fly. For my arms, as long and jiggly as they are, if flapped, Could take me sky high. As for my thighs – oh…my..word! There are so big and round that they look like elephant turds! As for my stomach, forget it. That’s a lost cause. They have enough rolls to make up a roomful of ER gauze. And if you thought that was bad enough, just want until I tell you about my boobs. (or should I say, my “goobs”?) They sag and droop so low. So low, that I think they have forgotten where to go! Yes, I hate my body. And that’s for a fact. Sometimes I wish I were a balloon and had a small tack! But as for right now, I’ll just finish up my Big Mac. And finish up looking at the biggest size on the rack. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 283 [topic] => 7 [informant] => lisalisacool [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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