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Array ( [sid] => 66311 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Compressed by addiction. [time] => 2004-10-06 10:18:47 [hometext] => This is about earlier. I was annoyed. I cut on Monday ‘coz of those bullies… but where’s the bad thing? And why should people STILL be told when mental health aren’t even involved in my life any more? … Please read and comment on here. [bodytext] => … I wanted to cut again today when I found out my head of year knows. IT’S NOT HIS RIGHT TO KNOW!!! HE CAN’T CHANGE IT! THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO! I used to trust him. Now I don't. If he knows, wouldn't peple higher than him know too? I can't trust him any more. I can't trust any one. I feel so alone again... But i'm too low to cry. This is aout my addiction of self-harm, 'coz i wanted to cut again after I found out he knew.
_________________________________________________________

Compressed feelings.
Compressed thoughts.
I’m listening to my head again,
And it’s making me distraught.

It’s talking its words again,
And I CAN’T block it out.
Some one please stop the noise,
Before I hang my-self!

It’s unbearable to say the least.
And I can’t stand it any more!
This addiction tells me to cuts more streaks,
And release the life from before…

Tell me how to stop this curse,
Before I slit again.
Don’t tell me that I own real worth,
And expect me to hide from my head.

Give me some thing to make me REAL!
‘coz when I laugh, I still hurt inside.
And don’t tell people about when I cut,
‘COZ IT’S CONFIDENTIAL!!!!! ‘Coz its MY LIFE!!! [comments] => 4 [counter] => 163 [topic] => 6 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
Compressed by addiction.

Contributed by deathdrop on Wednesday, 6th October 2004 @ 10:18:47 AM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry



… I wanted to cut again today when I found out my head of year knows. IT’S NOT HIS RIGHT TO KNOW!!! HE CAN’T CHANGE IT! THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO! I used to trust him. Now I don't. If he knows, wouldn't peple higher than him know too? I can't trust him any more. I can't trust any one. I feel so alone again... But i'm too low to cry. This is aout my addiction of self-harm, 'coz i wanted to cut again after I found out he knew.
_________________________________________________________

Compressed feelings.
Compressed thoughts.
I’m listening to my head again,
And it’s making me distraught.

It’s talking its words again,
And I CAN’T block it out.
Some one please stop the noise,
Before I hang my-self!

It’s unbearable to say the least.
And I can’t stand it any more!
This addiction tells me to cuts more streaks,
And release the life from before…

Tell me how to stop this curse,
Before I slit again.
Don’t tell me that I own real worth,
And expect me to hide from my head.

Give me some thing to make me REAL!
‘coz when I laugh, I still hurt inside.
And don’t tell people about when I cut,
‘COZ IT’S CONFIDENTIAL!!!!! ‘Coz its MY LIFE!!!




Copyright © deathdrop ... [ 2004-10-06 10:18:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Compressed by addiction. (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 6th October 2004 @ 10:23:55 AM AEST
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Feels like we might have something in common. i really like the 'when i laugh, i still hurt inside' line. so true..


Re: Compressed by addiction. (User Rating: 1 )
by ALineAboveTheStepBeneath on Wednesday, 6th October 2004 @ 10:42:56 AM AEST
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I'm sorry you have to feel these things... Hopefully, you can direct those feelings into something positive, like writing, instead of cutting.


Re: Compressed by addiction. (User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on Wednesday, 6th October 2004 @ 11:07:33 AM AEST
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Rosie,
I am sorry for your pain because I feel much of the same... its been a whole week since the last time I cut, and I want to pass that on to you... you are NOT alone I will ALWAYS be here no matter what... no matter what... I don't betray people. Great poem though... just keep letting out your pain.
~Deanna


Re: Compressed by addiction. (User Rating: 1 )
by LiquidChaos on Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 04:48:07 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I wish I knew what to do...what to say to help you out Rosie. I've told you all I know, and it's up to you to keep writing and keep communicating. There's no shame in cutting. Especially when you're trying to stop. Messing up is part of the struggle. It's gonna happen. It happens to all of us. I messed up two weeks ago after a whole summer of not cutting. But it's OK, because I know I'll get past it. Just hang on. No matter how tough it gets, we're still here for you. Don't you ever forget that.

Addie




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