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Array
(
[sid] => 6613
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Unwanted or Just Alone
[time] => 2002-11-13 09:30:00
[hometext] => i just wrote this when i wasn't feeling like i mattered in the world, many things came to mind and i just put it together. i would never do anything harmful.
[bodytext] => Why do i feel unwanted? Why does everyone not care? Why does everyone not want me around? What did i ever do so wrong, to cause everyone to have that anger and dislike toward me? they've had it always, I could tell all along. Why do i always feel so low, or like i'm pinned to the ground, I'm stuck, i will not have anyone to pull me up. Why do i never do anything right? Why am i the cause of everone's fight? What did i ever do to make pple think i dont care? What did i do to always have this feeling of being down and so blue? Why cant i just go on and pretend that everything is okay? pple wont let me, oh yea, what a wonderful day. My days are not fun, my nights are long and cold. I no longer have the one i love, the one i was always able to hold. I have this feeling i've never had before and it scares me more than i could bare. I dont feeel like anyone cares, my family has ALL had their share. It just keeps spinning in a circle. Will the sadness ever go away? Will the fear of being alone fade from me? Will the one i love open his eyes to know i'm true, i love, i care? will he finally see? Will my family know i care and that no matter what or how bad i feel being around them; that i'm always here? will everyone ever come to realize i'm human too? will they know i dont enjoy being sad too? i miss i care i love i cry i sleep i wake i wish i pray i hope i dream i fear some things and it feels like it goes and washes away. It goes down that forever going stream, the one that nobodies ever seen. It starts a new everyday, days come days go nights come and they fade so slow. Where is my happiness, why cant i be? Will i ever be the one i was thought to be? When will i come alive again and haveany fun? Will that ever again begin? Will i ever be me once more? i want everyone to hear me, i want them all to see. I miss the person i am when i am around the ones who make me "ME" Will i ever be the one that seems right? will i ever shine any of that light? i hope one day that i can or that i just might. Will those feelings come to me that were always great? to be young and free. Having love says so much, youd rather get it back than keep it away, because the one you care about give you strength for each new day. but to know they love you in return gives you courage to make it through any battle and every new coming day
[comments] => 1
[counter] => 194
[topic] => 32
[informant] => marmar
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => SadPoetry
)
|
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