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Array
(
[sid] => 65925
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Punishment Deserved
[time] => 2004-10-02 21:11:20
[hometext] => I was feeling very bad about myself.
[bodytext] => I am hurting from within myself. I am keeping myself from my own greatness. I am making my life miserable. I am not happy with myself. I feel like I should end it. Be one of those that you see in the paper. One who was seeming to be fine. That would be an unexpected turn. I should at least be punished for how I am. Be punished for the mistakes I have made. Be punished for how I make other people feel. Be punished for breathing air. I can be punished. Slit your wrists and feel the pain. The knife slides so easily over the skin. Something that is easy in this life. Up, down, and across you paint the red lines of your self-torture. Watch as the blood flows from your newly made wounds. At least you are doing something, you are making something happen. Because of you, and only you, this action is taking place. You feel like everyone see’s you as a failure. Your father tells you that you have no ambition. Your Grandmother tells you that you procrastinate. Everyone just makes you feel so bad. Like you are the failure of the world. Comparing you to everyone else. That you have it so much easier. That you should be doing all these things. That you should be so much more. They just don’t understand that you did try. They don’t know what you did. Maybe you just aren’t any good to anyone. Maybe you should just give up your space on this earth. Stop wasting the air, stealing breath from the useful people. You should be one of those in the paper. One of those who drives their care into a tree. One of those who gets hit by a bus. One of those found with a gun stuck in their mouths. One of those who believe they can fly from a high building. You should be one of those who are dead! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 143 [topic] => 36 [informant] => DragonLuvSong [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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