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Array ( [sid] => 65574 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die! [time] => 2004-09-29 14:50:54 [hometext] => I feel so much like dirt that I just haven’t got the strength to explain it. It explains itself if you care to read. If not stuff you! I hate my-self!... For living, for trying, for not even dieing… [bodytext] => I slit again,
The bath water went red.
I’d left my ‘suicide note’
Folded up on my bed.

I slit again.
With no strength inside.
I just fell apart.
Too numb to try.

I let my-self bleed.
Watching the puddles grow.
Then I placed my wrists under water.
As it began to flow…

I slit until my dumb razor,
Went blunt and wouldn’t work.
Then the thoughts reached me, that i'm a failure!
Leaving me feeling like dirt!

That’s a pretty dumb experience,
Considering I wanted to die.
Why couldn’t it have been sharp enough?
‘Coz now my nerves are being eaten alive!

That rose petal blade,
Has left about 40 cuts.
Each one’s red and burning.
All so evenly lined up…

Me, proud of myself?
DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT WORD!
I ran a hot bath and got in,
And slit quick before I was disturbed!

I planned every thing to be perfect.
So I’d be found in a bloodied mess.
And then every one would remember me,
And the little FREAK ALL DISTRESSED!!!!

But no lets play it life’s way!
Let’s make my new razor go blunt!
Just so I have to face another day!!!!
Hurting beyond TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let’s torture my broken soul.
But leave me living in red-rose watery blood.
Because we ALL love tormenting Rosie.
That’s why we call her things and judge!!!!!
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 194 [topic] => 36 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die!

Contributed by deathdrop on Wednesday, 29th September 2004 @ 02:50:54 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I slit again,
The bath water went red.
I’d left my ‘suicide note’
Folded up on my bed.

I slit again.
With no strength inside.
I just fell apart.
Too numb to try.

I let my-self bleed.
Watching the puddles grow.
Then I placed my wrists under water.
As it began to flow…

I slit until my dumb razor,
Went blunt and wouldn’t work.
Then the thoughts reached me, that i'm a failure!
Leaving me feeling like dirt!

That’s a pretty dumb experience,
Considering I wanted to die.
Why couldn’t it have been sharp enough?
‘Coz now my nerves are being eaten alive!

That rose petal blade,
Has left about 40 cuts.
Each one’s red and burning.
All so evenly lined up…

Me, proud of myself?
DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT WORD!
I ran a hot bath and got in,
And slit quick before I was disturbed!

I planned every thing to be perfect.
So I’d be found in a bloodied mess.
And then every one would remember me,
And the little FREAK ALL DISTRESSED!!!!

But no lets play it life’s way!
Let’s make my new razor go blunt!
Just so I have to face another day!!!!
Hurting beyond TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let’s torture my broken soul.
But leave me living in red-rose watery blood.
Because we ALL love tormenting Rosie.
That’s why we call her things and judge!!!!!

Copyright Â© deathdrop ... [ 2004-09-29 14:50:54]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die! (User Rating: 1 )
by TwEeK on Wednesday, 29th September 2004 @ 03:21:51 PM AEST
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good poem, lets everyone know the anger inside you.

im so sad that you feel this way..i know i cant stop you from doing what you do, but ever, if you need to chat, go ahead and pm me!
im always here. always listening.

Tweek

Re: I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die! (User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on Wednesday, 29th September 2004 @ 03:25:16 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Rosie,
hey love... you know how much I feel your pain... please, please don't commit suicide, cause you know if you did I would follow... and make for sure I didn't fail... please... I care, you know I do... pm me- email me... I will always be your buddy...
however, I have to say that it was a spectacular write... keep letting your emotions out and don't keep them in...
~Deanna~

Re: I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die! (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Wednesday, 29th September 2004 @ 09:37:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

hola rosita

well tupak said, "if you dont know me, dont judge me." this piece reminded me of that. why care so much about what others think, they dont even know you, so their assumptions are wrong and arent even based off truth. people are natural born failures and try to make everyone seem like worse failures than they are, so they go after others to try and make themselves feel better. all pointless really, because we all die, and it doesnt matter then. everything doesnt matter, to an extent it does now, but in actuality it doesnt.

are the reasons why you hate yourself justifiable? not many people are happy with themselves or how their life is, but they just learn to accept it. if you dont love yourself who will? other people only affect our lives if we let them, that means we let their comments get to us, their actions get to us. we have the power to shut them out of our lives or keep them in.

just remember, it takes a second to commit an action, but a lifetime to live with it.

i hope all goes well with you,

Jennifer

Re: I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die! (User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 04:05:32 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You might want to get out of this feeling Rosie
Its not a good place to be
and staying there isnt going to get you anywhere
Instead of writing poems about how your feeling this torment and sadness
write about how much you'd like it to change
to happiness
that is the first step to well being

trust me x

Re: I laid in a pool of blood, but didn’t die! (User Rating: 1 )
by tractorbabe on Sunday, 3rd October 2004 @ 11:28:38 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

great poem ..ur very talented

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