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Break Down
Contributed by
TwEeK
on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 08:11:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
on edge
teetering on the ridge of life
while everything mocks me
from my own family and friends
to the worthless grass below my feet
crying
on the inside
yet never sheding
a single tear
flinching at unseen pain
the littlest thing
that i do wrong
forces me
to hang my head
with shame
see all of them stare
as i walk own the halls
muttering bitterly
a madman on the mist
of insanity
the walls cave in
wispering of soon to be death
i run
i scream
heads turn to see
crawl along this cold hard ground
into the corner
where i sit
and rock
eyes rolling in their sockets
touch me
and i lash out
nothing but the creamy bloodshot whites of my eyes
is all you see
as i fall thrash about
Copyright ©
TwEeK
... [
2004-09-24 20:11:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Break Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 08:26:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| don't know how serious to take this so I'm afraid to comment...if it's serious..it was great. If its poking fun it was great..not mocking anyone here...sounds more like one of my seizures than a breakdown though..the thrashing about bit..and whites of the eyes..just add foam and shake..a_bear |
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Re: Break Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 08:26:24 PM AEST
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| well i hoped that whatever caused this breakdown has been solved or somehow eliminated from you life. well i wouldnt know about breakdowns, but from your write they sound interesting and painful. |
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Re: Break Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 08:35:06 PM AEST
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They best not be mean to u 'cause they jus might be the next one on the edge.
Great writing.
Hang tuff.
luv, huggs, faith, hope joy, peace,
emy |
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Re: Break Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 09:51:31 PM AEST
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It wasn't a breakdown, trust me on this. It might have been a severe anxiety attack which reacts this way. If you had had a nervous breakdown you would not be writing about it 2 days later.
Rita |
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Re: Break Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 11:17:51 PM AEST
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Raw and emotional, I could feel and identify with the pain and rage. Awesome piece!
Laurie |
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Re: Break Down
(User Rating: 1 )
by DamentedSuicide on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 08:02:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
You are an excellent artist
Your poem was very blunt and open
and well understude
~~~Raven~~~ |
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