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Array ( [sid] => 64716 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Escaping the Carnival Bizarre [time] => 2004-09-22 10:52:35 [hometext] => It's kind of chaotic but I'm still trying to polish it...it's been a 3 year project. All comments appreciated! [bodytext] => Those honeyed minutes of youth so easily forgot
Laid to rest by the hours in grown-up rot
Dripping through crippled fingers of wasted dreams
The puddles of tears that were hope-filled schemes

Failure's output, which we call life
Is but another tag for this strife
Dawn reborn serves agony's prolong
Known outward(or in some dark recess), we never did belong

Tales of success are just melodies of lies
The songs of existence that we secretly despise
Days erode into the next laden with change unbidden
The years burn our souls with what we wish hidden

Youth's candy consumed with eager disregard
Leaving the adult moment too bitter and hard
So tired of this wreckage plied with mad intent
Now facing the unbuilt promises totally spent

Horribly humorous and despicably sad
Our remembrances choked with what was had
Scant sleep broke with life's feverish hate
Wanted more...and better......... now it's too late [comments] => 4 [counter] => 175 [topic] => 13 [informant] => reprobate [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Escaping the Carnival Bizarre

Contributed by reprobate on Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 10:52:35 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Those honeyed minutes of youth so easily forgot
Laid to rest by the hours in grown-up rot
Dripping through crippled fingers of wasted dreams
The puddles of tears that were hope-filled schemes

Failure's output, which we call life
Is but another tag for this strife
Dawn reborn serves agony's prolong
Known outward(or in some dark recess), we never did belong

Tales of success are just melodies of lies
The songs of existence that we secretly despise
Days erode into the next laden with change unbidden
The years burn our souls with what we wish hidden

Youth's candy consumed with eager disregard
Leaving the adult moment too bitter and hard
So tired of this wreckage plied with mad intent
Now facing the unbuilt promises totally spent

Horribly humorous and despicably sad
Our remembrances choked with what was had
Scant sleep broke with life's feverish hate
Wanted more...and better......... now it's too late

Copyright © reprobate ... [ 2004-09-22 10:52:35]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Escaping the Carnival Bizarre (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 12:04:15 PM AEST
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Yeh it was a little chaotic but a cool write none the less, there were plenty of images, and I like all the twists and turns, thanks for sharing this cool poem.

Re: Escaping the Carnival Bizarre (User Rating: 1 )
by DamentedSuicide on Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 02:39:08 PM AEST
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I really liked you poem I used to believe i was the only dark artist, your poem gives me thought for my future and how i should live now while im still young!!

Re: Escaping the Carnival Bizarre (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 02:51:48 PM AEST
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It is NEVER too late to find happiness in life. This is dark and dismal and so negative. If you choice of life is this then I feel sorry for you. I do hope you will look forward to a better more satisfying future.

Rita

Re: Escaping the Carnival Bizarre (User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 09:38:16 PM AEST
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You have many awesome lines:

"Those honeyed minutes of youth so easily forgot
Laid to rest by the hours in grown-up rot

Tales of success are just melodies of lies

Youth's candy consumed with eager disregard"

Especially that last one is really very well said. And you have captured an image and a feeling most can easily relate to.

There were a couple lines that seemed wierd to me:

"Dripping through crippled fingers of wasted dreams...
Dawn reborn serves agony's prolong"

I loved the title - it drew me in. I would personally like to see more carnival-ish detail
in the poem itself. You have the minutes of youth and candy ideas that go with it but maybe something else woven in.
So, blah, there's some comments... This was great!

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