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(
[sid] => 64705
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Caught in her own web.
[time] => 2004-09-22 09:03:46
[hometext] => I think I'll add more to this later. Constructive criticism appreciated.
[bodytext] => She once hid behind the door of happiness,
Taunting those who were not the same,
Never realizing the effect she has on others,
Until it was all ripped away...
And suddenly her life is backwards,
And she is sad and lonely and ashamed,
And she is treated as she had taught others,
And happiness falls away...
And the world drips black, white and red tears from it's scars,
A sign of the intenal bleeding, of another broken heart,
Anger as she lies huddled in a ball on the cold floor,
Noticed by everyone, but noticed by none at all.
No one really acknowledges she is even there,
Mumble's words to empty faces that do not even care,
Despairing to ever be seen or even to be heard,
She just curls up even smaller to hide from the world.
Stepping stones around her, in the garden of her pain,
Just reminds her how she is nothing, over and over again,
While the spiders crawl around her, their webs trap her fears,
Jeering from her own lips, laughter in her ears.
'I deserve this....' She whispers,
'No, no one deserves this' she hears the reply,
'But...you forgot that when you were happy,
When you liked to make others cry'
'And now you know how it feels,
To have happiness denied....'
[comments] => 14
[counter] => 196
[topic] => 32
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 20
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => SadPoetry
)
Caught in her own web.
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 09:03:46 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
She once hid behind the door of happiness,
Taunting those who were not the same,
Never realizing the effect she has on others,
Until it was all ripped away...
And suddenly her life is backwards,
And she is sad and lonely and ashamed,
And she is treated as she had taught others,
And happiness falls away...
And the world drips black, white and red tears from it's scars,
A sign of the intenal bleeding, of another broken heart,
Anger as she lies huddled in a ball on the cold floor,
Noticed by everyone, but noticed by none at all.
No one really acknowledges she is even there,
Mumble's words to empty faces that do not even care,
Despairing to ever be seen or even to be heard,
She just curls up even smaller to hide from the world.
Stepping stones around her, in the garden of her pain,
Just reminds her how she is nothing, over and over again,
While the spiders crawl around her, their webs trap her fears,
Jeering from her own lips, laughter in her ears.
'I deserve this....' She whispers,
'No, no one deserves this' she hears the reply,
'But...you forgot that when you were happy,
When you liked to make others cry'
'And now you know how it feels,
To have happiness denied....'
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2004-09-22 09:03:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 09:11:52 AM AEST
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one of the most beautiful writes i have ever read!!! amazing, brilliant, wonderful, and every other positive word there is to describe something great!
"Stepping stones around her, in the garden of her pain,
Just reminds her how she is nothing, over and over again,
While the spiders crawl around her, their webs trap her fears,
Jeering from her own lips, laughter in her ears."
thats my favorate stanza.....so.....dark and beautiful...i..... awsome write..
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 09:15:58 AM AEST
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Another deep and insightful write. I love the ending best.
Stitch |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 09:28:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Ok let me know if I have this all wrong, but what I got out of this write is that of a bully happy and then the tables were truned......I guess it is how percived the story behind your words.
But the overall poem was actually really easy to read, each word flowed to the next and didnt leaving me hanging, so an excellent write. |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 09:52:23 AM AEST
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| Self-evaluation can sometimes be dangerous to our psyche as we are usually our own worst critic. The key is; once you realize the mistake, change it and go forward. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone learns from the. Those lessons are the hardest, but use it to become stronger and not repeat the mistakes again. This is an excellent write, but I agree it needs more added. Forgiveness of one's self is necessary to a peaceful loving life. Rita |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 09:59:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Im so glad that you posted this, A+++++, a wonderful write
takecare hun *hugs*
pixie xx |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sirena_Degana on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 10:03:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is an awesome write much better then anything i could have ever done....
awesome write
blessed be
sirena |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 04:26:55 PM AEST
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This is great Phil, don't change a thing.
Sad, yet dare I say?...poetic justice.
Nice flow too. |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chanti on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 05:13:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great write.. loved this one. You truly understand once youre in the victim's shoes..
Chanti |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 12:50:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow phil this is intense and sad.
I hope your ok sweety.Very powerful write.
hugs |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 12:20:41 PM AEST
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In all honesty, the beginning... oh, I'd say the first 1/4 of it was a trifle vague and left me feeling like I wanted just a little more... oh so litttle, more.
Other than that, it's wonderful and I love it.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 12:02:17 PM AEST
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breathtaking and a great message here too, beautifully exquisitly penned. hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alovinmann on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 05:24:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| well done great write |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 09:57:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sad, yet elegantly bealutiful.
Kie |
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Re: Caught in her own web.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 09:02:00 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I love this poem. Powerful write.
Spazzo |
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