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Array
(
[sid] => 64411
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Junkie Prayer
[time] => 2004-09-20 00:29:48
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I am not who I used to be I was happy and free Now I feel trapped and caged Sometimes sad, sometimes enraged Angry at myself because I watched They walked on and I lost The respect and the name I used to uphold That good name I sold For a good time and better high I think back and I sigh Youth and the trouble it brings I recollect and cringe The cycle begins anew Vision is askew Things are different Change scares me The feeling does not bring glee Only a different version of life One filled with hatred and strife What was so new and special and right Has now faded to a forgotten night I have such sorrow I seem to envite Pain and torment to follow me A normal life is my plea Make me wise and full of hope Fill not my head with thoughts of dope Or meth, or speed, or the wonders of coke I’m so full I just want to choke I can’t be the person I planned to be I can’t live the life chosen for me So I blaze a new trail I write a whole new tale One filled with experiences of every kind And these memories fill my mind And my inhibitions seem to bind I look to the future with hope in my eyes Hope that will soon die No matter how hard I try I will still cry And wish for the past For the present is too much And the future will not last So I look back at my life and sigh Wonder why I didn’t do that Chances missed and opportunities squandered Far from the path I have wandered Searching for hope A purpose to be And the more I see The more complacent I become And the days become glum I realize that the older I grow More of the disease starts to show And then I know That life is not all its cracked up to be I more clearly see The forest for the trees And it brings me to my knees In search for the cure For that which I must endure The air seems pure But it is as soiled as the earth On which I am chained And one thought on me is ingrained Seeze the day, that moment in time Because the rest is covered in grime Those times you treasure Hoard up like gold Because then you grow old And the world starts to change Pressures mount up And things turn to ***** And pretty soon you’ve had enough of it So I live to escape The prison cell My little slice of hell And my soul I sell To the urges I have The impulses I feel I escape for hours As long as I can I taste that freedom And come up with a plan To leave reality and live how I please To shed my skin and this awful disease [comments] => 1 [counter] => 210 [topic] => 13 [informant] => 2bruisedandbeaten4you [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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