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Array
(
[sid] => 64225
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Lost in myself
[time] => 2004-09-18 14:44:19
[hometext] => Thankyou to Bernard for the title.. This is something a little different to my usual writes. Please let me know what you think, Constructive criticism appreciated.
[bodytext] => Passers by peer into the window of her soul,
Noses pressed firmly against a cracked window pane,
Watching her move through the maze of her mind,
Every turn a new fear a new complication, a new blockade,
Making her turn back down the same line of thought,
Over and over again....
They stand there as if merely watching a west end play,
Gaudy billboard sign outside, screaming 'Watch This girl, lost'
'Come buy your tickets, three for a pound'
While onlookers offer polite applause,
Watching as she turns a corner,
Hurdling over doubt just to run into another,
The crowd gasp in surprise as she falls.
Struggling to rise, she regains her feet,
Just to run through her struggle once again,
Only occasionally stopping for a moment of peace,
The silence deafening the crowd,
Seconds of silence, one, two, three,
Until the show finishes with that same applause,
And everyone leaves, and waits, for the re-runs to show again.
[comments] => 11
[counter] => 176
[topic] => 61
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 29
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => selfstruggles
)
Lost in myself
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 02:44:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Passers by peer into the window of her soul,
Noses pressed firmly against a cracked window pane,
Watching her move through the maze of her mind,
Every turn a new fear a new complication, a new blockade,
Making her turn back down the same line of thought,
Over and over again....
They stand there as if merely watching a west end play,
Gaudy billboard sign outside, screaming 'Watch This girl, lost'
'Come buy your tickets, three for a pound'
While onlookers offer polite applause,
Watching as she turns a corner,
Hurdling over doubt just to run into another,
The crowd gasp in surprise as she falls.
Struggling to rise, she regains her feet,
Just to run through her struggle once again,
Only occasionally stopping for a moment of peace,
The silence deafening the crowd,
Seconds of silence, one, two, three,
Until the show finishes with that same applause,
And everyone leaves, and waits, for the re-runs to show again.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2004-09-18 14:44:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 05:31:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I'm abit annoyed for you as this poem is really good but no one else has bothered to comment on a darn good effort. I wish you had more comments as you have created a superb piece of writting. |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 07:36:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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sorry I didnt comment sooner Phil *hugs* I have only just come online this I have read before when you shonw it me a couple of weeks ago and I thought it was a amazing, and I still do, I am so glad that you posted it :)
keep up the great writes , takecare,
see you online later, off to gym now lol *groans*
pixie xx |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 08:30:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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An excellent bit of writing here my friend.....
Great emotion and written in such a unique fashion.
Very Very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Sunday, 19th September 2004 @ 12:16:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Great poem how about (Lost In Myself.) I liked it because it is unusual hugs from bernard. |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 06:53:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is stellar. I'd venture to say one of your very best. Each write you give us shows more depth and growth personally and as a poet. BRAVO!
Stitch |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 07:01:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Excellent write.
Very well-framed. It's the kind of poem that just comes straight and looks you in the eye.
Subtle and yet strong.
You have great talent, looking forward to reading more of your work. |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 12:16:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is a great poem, Phil. I could see the noses on the windowpane, I could watch with their eyes as the girl stumbled and fell, I could feel in my heart a sympathy and an urge to unlock some door and let her out.
Wonderful poem.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 03:22:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I agree with Tanmaya... subtle, yet strong. I like this, Phil... it's like screaming in whispers. Very powerful, very impactful... and for many, I'm sure, very relatable. I find myself in this in places.
And hon - you must know, I would definitely help you up if you stumbled (assuming of course, that I'm not sitting on the ground next to you at the moment!).
Huggysnoodles!
SNM |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 12:05:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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what a human poem, vivid images, tenderly written on how we all feel so horribly alone at times....... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 10:37:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Phil, this was a fantastic write. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Lost in myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by ROUGE on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 08:52:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| THERE ARE HARDLY WORDS......rouge. |
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