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Array
(
[sid] => 62836
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Time/ and others.
[time] => 2004-09-07 02:32:06
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Time Time slips by, time wasted each day,/ time slips by, time wasted away/ things left unsaid and memories faded/ time slips by and I grow more jaded/ to the wasted life and the broken dreams/ time slips by and so it seems/ that time will heal the scars of the past/ but time slips by and the hate still lasts/ time slips by and love has faded/ time slips by and death is contemplated/ time slips by and still I try/ time slips by and still I die/ time slips by and opportunities are lost/ time slips by and great is the cost/ time slips by and I find no peace/ time slips by and I pray for sleep/ time slips by and older I grow/ time slips by and less I know/ time slips by to fast too see/ time slips by it slows not for me/ time slips by it hears not my pleas/ time has brought me to my knees. Hate Pain,pain/ leaves her stain/ on my soul/ that black hole/ of dispair/ beware/ take care/ hate/ you can never sate/ that hunger/ that want/ that need/ to feed/ on the weak/ beat the meek/ they do not speak/ the pain in their eyes/ now I despise/ reject the Word/ find it absurd/ hate the man /who can/ cause the pain/ spike in my brain/ never leaving/ always bleeding/ turning the red to black/ can't turn back/ sweet to sour/ my darkest hour/ no light shines/ now I'm blind/ to the light/ to the joy/ just a boy/ innocent and naive/ now I grieve/ you changed me/ blamed me/ scars on these arms/ the trophies of the harm/ you caused/ my life paused/ in that place/ that time/ when it ceased to be mine/ and I found the hate/ the hunger I cannot sate. Peace It is peace I crave in this life/ not the peace of the knife/ not that final endless sleep/ that takes me away into the dark, the deep/ but that feeling of self-worth/ that I have not felt from my wretched birth/ I need that to feel whole/ to regain my self-control/ to again walk this earth a man/ not a boy, a toy/ in their cruel hands/ my days lived out according to their plan/ I need that peace to wash over me/ to fill me with that sense of glee/ to know that everything is right/ to know that I don't have to fight/ with those demons of my inner soul/ to fill again that widening hole/ to wash clean the stains of time/ to rinse my life of all that grime/ that dirt that filth that cover/ that pain that seems to hover/ over the open wounds of my heart/ it threatens to destroy/ to tear apart/ my fragile being/ and I end up fleeing/ again to that which does not cure/ which dirties the soul, which is not pure/ and the circle widens, the cycle starts anew/ and I realize nothing is true/ I see all this through my veil of tears/ I see that all my sorrows, toils and fears/ amount to dust and little gained/ and so this thought on my mind is ingrained/ live while you can and regret not the past/ for we see but dimly through the looking glass. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 185 [topic] => 61 [informant] => 2bruisedandbeaten4you [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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