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Array ( [sid] => 62640 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Time without end [time] => 2004-09-05 13:58:12 [hometext] => [bodytext] => This endlessness that I fear,
Draws more and more near,
Eternity, in the palm of my hand,
Strewn like sand all across this land.
I can smell death’s aroma,
His silent, artificial, imposing dogma.
I see my life, in all of its worthlessness,
All of my actions; so vain, so aimless.

Shadows surround me,
Until I cant see anymore,
The blindness is comforting,
My sins are bleeding,
My life is draining away,
But in your arms I want to stay.

Hold me and love me,
So I don’t feel dirty anymore,
Then maybe God will love me,
And will take away my sores.
Don’t turn your back,
Don’t look away,
Because in your arms I want to stay. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 184 [topic] => 13 [informant] => tabby [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Time without end

Contributed by tabby on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 01:58:12 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

This endlessness that I fear,
Draws more and more near,
Eternity, in the palm of my hand,
Strewn like sand all across this land.
I can smell death’s aroma,
His silent, artificial, imposing dogma.
I see my life, in all of its worthlessness,
All of my actions; so vain, so aimless.

Shadows surround me,
Until I cant see anymore,
The blindness is comforting,
My sins are bleeding,
My life is draining away,
But in your arms I want to stay.

Hold me and love me,
So I don’t feel dirty anymore,
Then maybe God will love me,
And will take away my sores.
Don’t turn your back,
Don’t look away,
Because in your arms I want to stay.

Copyright Â© tabby ... [ 2004-09-05 13:58:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Time without end (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 03:25:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Its well-rhymed, yet a little straightforward towards the end. I prefer the intensity of the first, with these lines;

"I can smell death’s aroma,
His silent, artificial, imposing dogma."

WHich sound as though they're well-worked.

Keep writing.

Re: Time without end (User Rating: 1 )
by Lionel on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 07:37:12 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Why are most poets so unhappy? I wish I could help make them more happy. I don't know why there is so much unhappiness in the poetry of YP.com

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