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Array ( [sid] => 62629 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Eat Our Insides [time] => 2004-09-05 12:21:56 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Listen to the sound of me breathing
In this silent room I lay
Mimic each breath
For you are here with me
Tied and bandaged we lay
No voice
No sight
Only vibrations we feel
Famished
Acids now eat are insides
We lay in our waste
The room now reeks
Two naked bodies
Covered in flies
Eating at the wounds uncovered
I cry
To numb to feel
I began my last breath
and ended it in time
As my bones were then revealed [comments] => 5 [counter] => 147 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Pyrofungus [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Eat Our Insides

Contributed by Pyrofungus on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 12:21:56 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Listen to the sound of me breathing
In this silent room I lay
Mimic each breath
For you are here with me
Tied and bandaged we lay
No voice
No sight
Only vibrations we feel
Famished
Acids now eat are insides
We lay in our waste
The room now reeks
Two naked bodies
Covered in flies
Eating at the wounds uncovered
I cry
To numb to feel
I began my last breath
and ended it in time
As my bones were then revealed

Copyright © Pyrofungus ... [ 2004-09-05 12:21:56]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Eat Our Insides (User Rating: 1 )
by tabby on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 02:44:26 PM AEST
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wow what a fantastic poem, theres some great descriptions, my favourite being "Acids now eat our insides" it's truly excellent writing

Re: Eat Our Insides (User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 03:06:31 PM AEST
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I don't like dark poetry summer.....and this why. It is negative and pulls me down......I leave on my face a frown.
Have you ever considered writing something light and happy.......if you would, perhaps you too would be jolly?
Very good poem.......well written, and made quite clear.......but with a happy poem you would feel more positive and so would
your readers dear
Poetic hugs
consue
P.S. Please don't get me wrong there is a place for dark poetry, but write some positive too.......remember balance?

Re: Eat Our Insides (User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 03:32:29 AM AEST
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Aaah very dark..some times those feelings are true. venkat

Re: Eat Our Insides (User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on Monday, 13th September 2004 @ 11:05:16 AM AEST
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wow!!! this is indeed very dark... it's amazing!
brilliant poem!

Re: Eat Our Insides (User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on Wednesday, 15th September 2004 @ 07:41:13 PM AEST
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gruesome and fantastical, this poem was awesome!!! you have an excellent talent with imagery and emotion. you are very good.

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