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Array
(
[sid] => 62611
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
[time] => 2004-09-05 09:45:19
[hometext] => Old ladies like me ramble alot! I'm surely glad, it's less expensive than gambling alot! *teehee*
[bodytext] =>  "RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE!" Ramble means to think or "Mind Rattle!" Cell phones, status symbol of today. Can't afford one, so I wear instead..... Garage door opener on display! It took me 50 years to realize That people don't like me.....sighs! After I spent a fortune on deodorant! Expensive colognes for my statement! Pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? How can you tell if you've hit "Old Age?" When you still have something on the ball, But you're just too tired to bounce it off the wall! I'm really very healthy, I never skip breakfast. I'm thinking about making an excercise tape, I'm going to call it "Pumping Rust!" I do have a disease though, called, "Furniture Bitters!" When your chest is falling into your drawers!" These are just some of my "Pet Peeves!" "Oh, have you got a cat?" when they see my litter box gives me the dry heaves! Now I'm an old lady, and don't want to be grumpy But would love to reply, "Oh, No, that's for the company!" And Employment application blanks aren't exactly "Brainy!" They ask: "Who is to be notitifed in case of an emergency" I pondered this over, what if you're a bachelor? I finally wrote, "I think a Good Doctor!" What a puzzlement as I walk into he Post Office criminals faces plastered everywhere! Is this a "Singles Club?" Advertising for an affair? I've already decided I'm not writing to them, put their pictures on postage stamps. Let the postman look for these tramps! Better yet, why not arrest them while they're taking their poster picture, naughty scamps!!! I've noticed something else that's very peculiar? Ever notice how the oldsters start reading their Bibles with ardor? Then it dawned on me, they're cramming for their finals! As for me I hope God grades on the curve..... I'll never make it on my wrinkles! Created by Lovingcritters ConSue Sept 5, 2004 No Author........ the poem is mine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of "Art!" ~Louis Nizer~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  *Scary Smiles!* [comments] => 8 [counter] => 224 [topic] => 7 [informant] => lovingcritters [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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