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Array ( [sid] => 62573 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => the war in me [time] => 2004-09-04 21:44:04 [hometext] => [bodytext] => there is a war going
its between me and myself
the side i wanna be-a good, works hard, does homework type of kid
and the side i am-the bad, does drugs, sleeps in class type of kid
all i can do is contradict myself with what i say
because i don't know myself or what i really want and why
incisions in my legs tell me somethings wrong
but the curl's in my hair and forced smile on my face
tells me everything is going to be okay

the days i dress up in a skirt and curl my hair are me at my best
the days i sit on the floor of the shower in tears are me at my worst
people that know me have to deal with my ups and downs
and thats so unfair when im down especailly for the people i love
i wish i could control my mood swings but they come and go so fast

i hate who i am most of the time
but what does that mean?
tomorrow i'll love myself
maybe someday god will take my life
and only then will i be able to feel
a feeling that i know is for sure [comments] => 3 [counter] => 184 [topic] => 48 [informant] => monophobic [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

the war in me

Contributed by monophobic on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 09:44:04 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

there is a war going
its between me and myself
the side i wanna be-a good, works hard, does homework type of kid
and the side i am-the bad, does drugs, sleeps in class type of kid
all i can do is contradict myself with what i say
because i don't know myself or what i really want and why
incisions in my legs tell me somethings wrong
but the curl's in my hair and forced smile on my face
tells me everything is going to be okay

the days i dress up in a skirt and curl my hair are me at my best
the days i sit on the floor of the shower in tears are me at my worst
people that know me have to deal with my ups and downs
and thats so unfair when im down especailly for the people i love
i wish i could control my mood swings but they come and go so fast

i hate who i am most of the time
but what does that mean?
tomorrow i'll love myself
maybe someday god will take my life
and only then will i be able to feel
a feeling that i know is for sure

Copyright © monophobic ... [ 2004-09-04 21:44:04]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: the war in me (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 09:49:07 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this reminds me of one of mine. i will take this in the perspective that you are only as good as you are at your worst. our self concept is the most important thing in our lives, it affects us so much. there is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so. dont compare yourself, you are different than everyone else, you are different every second. you have only things that are different to compare to, and that is never fair to you or who or what you are comparing yourself to.

Re: the war in me (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenn2004 on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 11:18:10 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I feel like that too, i get mood swings all the time. I hate feeling like that. I hope u find ways to deal with yours, im still trying to deal with mine.

Re: the war in me (User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 04:32:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this iz so me

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