Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+ |
Custom Search
|
|
||||
Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 15:41:20 AEST | ||
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
Array
(
[sid] => 62476
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Abandoned Shelter
[time] => 2004-09-03 20:55:52
[hometext] => this is a rewrite of an old poem.. lonely house.. i am using this poem in a competition so im happy to hear your comments..but above all i would like some construcitive criticism so i can make changes before i submit it
[bodytext] => consumed by the loneliness in the abandoned woods luscious vines suffocating every bare wall decades ago the houses here held such lively childhoods today one shelter stands trying not to fall gutters ripped from the building, shingles barely attached doors dangle off broken hinges, windows shattered splintered furniture thrown about, every piece mismatched terrified girl’s body is beaten and battered escapes violence and seeks refuge in a broken home drunk father never notices her absence she lays down on the cold hard floor near her broken comb splintered floorboards equal her bed with musty fragrance torn faded rag provides safety from cruel world blanket warms and comforts her frost bitten toes and heart problems vanish and peace is found as she lays there curled cracked walls hide her from danger and give new start [comments] => 1 [counter] => 216 [topic] => 43 [informant] => deadbloodyrose [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
|