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Array
(
[sid] => 62410
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I commit Suicide
[time] => 2004-09-03 11:48:20
[hometext] => you all on YPDC have helped me in your own little ways... reads and comments, very appretiated
[bodytext] => after all we've been through
this is how you bail out
you had to be horribly mean
you had to shout
you are the reason
I am ready to take my last breath
when you left
it was my heart you kept
I have nothing to live for anymore
tonight will be the night
I will give up
I cannot fight
I hope it haunts you to the core
when you find me
my dead lifeless fingers on the trigger
I hope you are the first to see
It'll all be your fault
that I'm on the ground lying dead
will you feel bad
all the things that you said
I hate you so much
as I'm sitting here crying in pain
I'm drowning, I cannot breathe
I'm struggling in the rain
as the drops sink deep
into my mangled skin
it physically hurts
as the razor blade sinks within
you say that I don't think about that
how I do
as all I can think about
is the pain from you
I drown in my own blood
agin and again
I'm so sick of this
that I couldn't cry enough tears
my sadness cannot go away
that is all I feel
I can never be the same
I'll never heal
you have given me away to the darkness
and I cannot take it anymore
it tears me apart in every way
I just want to fly away, to soar
I need you now more than ever
help me, before I die
help me now
before I commit suicide
[comments] => 5
[counter] => 161
[topic] => 36
[informant] => screwup
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 5
[ratings] => 2
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
I commit Suicide
Contributed by
screwup
on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 11:48:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
after all we've been through
this is how you bail out
you had to be horribly mean
you had to shout
you are the reason
I am ready to take my last breath
when you left
it was my heart you kept
I have nothing to live for anymore
tonight will be the night
I will give up
I cannot fight
I hope it haunts you to the core
when you find me
my dead lifeless fingers on the trigger
I hope you are the first to see
It'll all be your fault
that I'm on the ground lying dead
will you feel bad
all the things that you said
I hate you so much
as I'm sitting here crying in pain
I'm drowning, I cannot breathe
I'm struggling in the rain
as the drops sink deep
into my mangled skin
it physically hurts
as the razor blade sinks within
you say that I don't think about that
how I do
as all I can think about
is the pain from you
I drown in my own blood
agin and again
I'm so sick of this
that I couldn't cry enough tears
my sadness cannot go away
that is all I feel
I can never be the same
I'll never heal
you have given me away to the darkness
and I cannot take it anymore
it tears me apart in every way
I just want to fly away, to soar
I need you now more than ever
help me, before I die
help me now
before I commit suicide
Copyright ©
screwup
... [
2004-09-03 11:48:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I commit Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitMyst on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 12:27:52 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I can't begin to count the times or ways I tried to commit suicide over guys that left me. From razors to sleeping pills, I was hospitalized 4 times for suicide attempts, and now, with 2 beautiful children, and a man that amazes me daily, I thank my lucky stars that I never succeeded in my endeavors. I know what it feels like to want to (and try to) commit suicide, and it's terribly hard to look past the pain in the moment, and death seems like the only way to end it--but it will pass. A new love will come along, and maybe, a better love. I remember fantasizing about making the ex pay.... I'd lay awake a night wondering what it'd be like to be a spirit in his room, watching as he mourned my death. And, while, it's nice to think that they'll hurt the way you do, remember, you'll be dead. There is no taking something like that back. There is no reconciling with the ex. And, you've hurt everyone else in your life to get back at one person. I found the best way to make an ex have regrets, is to move ahead with my life and not look back. That makes YOU the victor. I also found using suicide as a threat, has never, ever, ever made a guy come back to me or stay with me--in fact, they started to think I was crazy, and they got as far away as possible. Even my husband, knowing my past, said he'd leave me in a heartbeat if I tried something like that, because he wouldn't want to be held responsible. It sounds insensitive, but I can understand that. I know I'm being preachy, but having had a mother, and a handful of friends that committed suicide, and also, having made many attempts, myself, the subject touches me deeply, and I really want to stress to you, that some day in the future, when the right person is in your life (or even if you're alone) , and you are truly happy, you, too, will thank your stars you're sitll alive. From one that has been there and done that, it will get better.
*Hugs* *Hugs* and more *Hugs* |
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Re: I commit Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by markie on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 01:21:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| the thing is you won't see whether they care or not or whether they hurt or not...you'll be gone. the poem made me feel the pain..you want someone to feel yours, but sometimes the best way to do that is to show them we can suck it up... |
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Re: I commit Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by krammy on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 06:02:21 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| not bad. need a liitle refining |
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Re: I commit Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by willow_tara72002 on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 09:31:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I really liked this one, i know how you feel,. its kinda the relationship i have with my parents.. great write |
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Re: I commit Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 04:17:06 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Don't go!
even if you don't feel it now, don't go it the future! |
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