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Array
(
[sid] => 61999
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Didn't Win
[time] => 2004-08-30 23:31:18
[hometext] => Could also be considered suicide.. but I'm fighting it so that's why I put it as what it is. I'm finally not paranoid, I have proof my friends are leaving me.
[bodytext] => I went to sleep last night, and I saw a gun at my temple. I saw the end. I got up this morning, and I saw the razor beside me. I walked away. I made it to lunch time, and I heard all their voices. I raised my eyes. I saw the sunset, and the sight made me cry. I collapsed inside. I sat before the computer, and hollow words and people taunted me. I felt the pain. I crawled beneath the cool sheets, and the razor spoke to me. I held a tear within my hands. I watched the moon rise, and the music flowed around me. I broke down. I lifted the razor from beneath the cloth, and I heard your voice inside my head. I went deeper. I fell away from all of you, and I prayed that now you'd be happy. I savored the pain. I laid my head to rest a final time, and I said my goodbyes to all of you. I wished you'd understand. ~Jekyll [comments] => 2 [counter] => 171 [topic] => 61 [informant] => waos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 21 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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