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Array
(
[sid] => 61956
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Because Of You
[time] => 2004-08-30 18:58:53
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I feel this pressure from you to me Wishing and making me be something Ill never be Ive told you again and again, still you dont see I feel so uncomfortable, naked, paranoid, No Confidence but self hate Why wont you let me be who i am? It hurts cause you say you never thought you would have a kid like me You were never there for me, Ill never be what you want me to be, I want to be me Your insults and rejection beat me down I cant get up from this ground, So Im pushing you away I cant forget everything you say, I never want to talk to you again starting on this day Cant you be a mother for a minute? Support me, accept me, understand me You've abandonded me And yell at me to dress and act something im not Im Not going to be like that, Im Not, I Cant. I Wont, Im tired of telling you that I wont Im tired of telling you how i feel, and you say to get over it, And dont care that im dying, Im hurting, Because Of You, You care more about what people think, Than what I feel Im not going to lie about who I am I was tired of hiding, Knowing everyone and you hate me, Thats why i tryed to take my life. Because I felt completly alone, Shame, and i hated myself, Do you even know thats what i went through? Do you ever care, The first thing you thought "What Will People Think" Why are you doing this? You know Im hurting You see the cuts, You see the burns, You see the scars You just take it to far Because of you I hate myself so much Because of you I started to cut, I still do now, I cannot stop, Because of the pain you put me through, All because of you. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 163 [topic] => 61 [informant] => willow_tara72002 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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